• Poll

  • Users, are you married or not, while in/out of chastity?

Vanessa But you may do even more without it.

I would, but it's not necessary. I think I will have more then enough time for anything and my equipment will not make me much slower.

Vanessa I think it was better

Now it's less stressful and we have no fights. I really like that.

Vanessa By "discuss",I meant "argue","disagree"...

I am not allowed to argue about rules. But I am allowed to politely state my opinion and I have the right to ask as often as I need to fully understand the rules. But he has the final saying.

Vanessa Do you think one of these basic rules would have to change to make you happy?

I don't think there will be a change in my basic rules for the foreseeable future and for now I am happy with this.

            Sara2001 I think I will have more then enough time for anything and my equipment will not make me much slower.

            Anyway you would know it after your marriage.

            Sara2001 I am not allowed to argue about rules. But I am allowed to politely state my opinion and I have the right to ask as often as I need to fully understand the rules. But he has the final saying.

            Yes,but do you think you would argue more,if you not have the strictest rules?

            Sara2001 I am happy with this.

            Good!🙂

                    Vanessa Yes,but do you think you would argue more,if you not have the strictest rules?

                    It's more an emotional thing. It's less about the arguing itself. It's about feeling like jealousy or thinking that something is to strict. This way I always know that it is stricter for me, very simple and easy.

                        Vanessa So you prefer it.

                        Honestly I don't prefer the strictness and the limitations itself but we both prefer a setup that is designed to bring us as much peace, love and harmony as possible and for this goal it's a good solution to minimise aspects that could lead to a conflicting.

                            Max9 that's true, but therefore you can think with your pearl.

                            nice that you call it my pearl, i like that 🙂 😂

                            Vanessa Like a better meal,a nicely decorated house for a romantic time...

                            that's what I mean, so it's probably going to be difficult for @Sara2001 at some point.

                            Sara2001 Honestly I don't prefer the strictness and the limitations itself

                            Sara2001 and for this goal it's a good solution to minimise aspects that could lead to a conflicting.

                            somehow i have the feeling that this is a contradiction in terms. the strict rules only increase the potential for conflict, don't they?

                                      Sara2001 I think whoever says that she or he is absolutely loving and adoring his life in chastity without missing anything is lying.

                                      No there are many wives like me who like everything about it. You could argue that our husbands are more giving and go by what we both want rather than set rules.
                                      Biblically when people marry they are to be as one... So as couple say "we're remodeling, we are moving to a town, we are pregnant" etcetera

                                      Sara2001 You mixed a lot. This never happened. Nobody ever talked about a number of orgasms during a family dinner

                                      I thought so Daniels sister was told be her husband that she would be having fewer orgasms. I forget the amount you said but it was very few for a happy marriage and so she cried. I remember THAT because it felt like a punch to the gut ... 😅

                                            Megan No there are many wives like me who like everything about it. You could argue that our husbands are more giving and go by what we both want rather than set rules.

                                            How much time do you have out - like non sexual time just doing stuff it doesn't work with?

                                            Megan I forget the amount you said but it was very few for a happy marriage and so she cried. I remember THAT because it felt like a punch to the gut ... 😅

                                            Yeah I remember too it seemed like it was just to be cruel

                                                Angelina somehow i have the feeling that this is a contradiction in terms. the strict rules only increase the potential for conflict, don't they?

                                                I don't think so, because there is no room for a disagreement. The rules are strict but very clear.

                                                Megan No there are many wives like me who like everything about it. You could argue that our husbands are more giving and go by what we both want rather than set rules.

                                                But I want him to set these rules for me. It's just that I don't love any of my rules 24/7. Sometimes I think how great it would feel to be able to have an orgasm and in this moments I definitely don't love my chastity belt.

                                                      Sara2001 But I want him to set these rules for me. It's just that I don't love any of my rules 24/7. Sometimes I think how great it would feel to be able to have an orgasm and in this moments I definitely don't love my chastity belt.

                                                      Clear rules and punishment must not go hand in hand. It is also possible to set strict rules and you follow them because you like it that way.

                                                          Megan I thought so Daniels sister was told be her husband that she would be having fewer orgasms. I forget the amount you said but it was very few for a happy marriage and so she cried. I remember THAT because it felt like a punch to the gut ...

                                                          Sara2001 During dinner the husband of Daniel's sister offered her her new orgasm amount. She started to beg for staying with the old amount. In Daniels family doing this in front of others this counts as backtalking, it also counted as unsolicited talking. She and her husband left the dinner table to give her a good spanking. 20 minutes later he came back while she came back round about one hour later after her corner time. I felt very sorry for her, but I also have to say that she knows the rules and that she should have known better how to behave.

                                                              Sara2001 I don't think so, because there is no room for a disagreement. The rules are strict but very clear.

                                                              yes, in a way you are right, on the other hand i have experienced with the rules i have at home with my father that the rules where we are the most apart (my equipment is one of them) have the most potential for conflict. the harder the rules the more heated the discussions.

                                                              but it is probably very difficult to compare

                                                                  Joh Clear rules and punishment must not go hand in hand. It is also possible to set strict rules and you follow them because you like it that way.

                                                                  I follow my rules because I like it. But liking them 99% of the time is something else then liking them 100% of the time and in the other 1%, I love that I have to follow them, even if I don't like to follow it from time to time.

                                                                  Angelina but it is probably very difficult to compare

                                                                  I think it's very different. It's consensual and I can talk about my rules every week.

                                                                  • Joh replied to this.

                                                                        Sara2001 I follow my rules because I like it. But liking them 99% of the time is something else then liking them 100% of the time and in the other 1%, I love that I have to follow them, even if I don't like to follow it from time to time.

                                                                        Your answer makes sense but didn't imply punishment as necessary action.

                                                                            I don't like the punishment itself, but I love that I know that I will be punished when I don't take care of my role and rules. Punishments are nothing he loves to give me or that he enjoys applying to me. He loves when I am submissive to him and punishments are not more then a necessary tool to support this.

                                                                              Joh but didn't imply punishment as necessary action.

                                                                              Sara2001 I don't like the punishment

                                                                              can it be that sometimes the distance between the non-compliant behaviour and the type of punishment is too high? i mean that maybe more thought needs to be given to whether the "punishment" is directly related to the bad behaviour?

                                                                              then it would no longer even have to be called punishment but help

                                                                                  Sara2001 I don't like the punishment itself, b

                                                                                  If you would like it it would not make sense that you get it. 😉

                                                                                  Sara2001 He loves when I am submissive to him and punishments are not more then a necessary tool to support this.

                                                                                  So it like similar for you like for @ZeynepFox . She sees it as education help.

                                                                                        Sara2001 Punishments are nothing he loves to give me or that he enjoys applying to me.

                                                                                        It's not the same thing, of course, but I enjoy it much more when he enjoys giving it to me, when that opportunity arises.

                                                                                            Joh So it like similar for you like for @ZeynepFox . She sees it as education help

                                                                                            I see it kind of similar. It definitely helps me to behave better the next time and at the end it are his rules but our goals.

                                                                                            Avery It's not the same thing, of course, but I enjoy it much more when he enjoys giving it to me, when that opportunity arises.

                                                                                            We don't see giving punishments as an opportunity but as a necessary part of our relationship and a helpful tool. Hr definitely prefers when I behaved instead of he needs to punish me. When he punishes me, he likes it a lot when I don't fight against it. It's very important for his feelings that I thank him after the punishment and tell him that I am happy that he is helping me. This can't be a phrase but I have to honestly feel it.

                                                                                                  Sara2001 We don't see giving punishments as an opportunity but as a necessary part of our relationship and a helpful tool.

                                                                                                  Agreed, I just used the word opportunity because I don't usually behave badly.

                                                                                                  Sara2001 When he punishes me, he likes it a lot when I don't fight against it.

                                                                                                  I fight some. I don't really enjoy it fully unless I shed at least a few tears.

                                                                                                  Sara2001 It's very important for his feelings that I thank him after the punishment and tell him that I am happy that he is helping me.

                                                                                                  Thanking him is an important part of continuing the dynamic and admitting I deserve whatever he did to me but some aftercare for me is important too.