Avery here where some person said their punishment was meant to be hard enough to still hurt the next day. I think we all can agree that's wrong.
No. We can not. I don't enjoy it when it's painful for several days, but it definitely leads to the desired results. It's very usual in this kind of relationship that a real punishment hurt for days.
Pieter_Cuck I totally agree with you a punishment is not good if you still feel it the next day. The punishment must be bearable.
I think it differs from relationship to relationship. My punishments always hurt more than a day and I know many others (out of my family) where it is the same. A punishment needs to hurt, otherwise we wouldn't work hard enough to avoid it.
Sin Consent is key. Otherwise it's abuse. No means no.
I agree, but consense that one partner is in charge and the other one is submitting is consense. This kind of relationship needs trust and a lot of effort from both partners. I can only submit to my boyfriend and follow his rules and orders because I trust him and can see and feel that my long term happiness and my long term goals are his top priority. I could never submit to someone who doesn't care for my needs as much as I care for his.
Joh Sorry, I don't get it what you want to point out.
When I get my maintenance discipline, it's not a punishment, because I haven't done anything wrong. That's a very important difference for me. For maintenance we have a long talk about our rules and how I feel with them and things like that before the spanking. It's about fine tuning the relationship and better understanding of eachother. It's about showing that we both still want this kind of relationship and that we still care for eachother. For punishment it's completely different. We have a lesson where we talk about a specific incident and I feel guilty. After the punishment I feel free and the incident is COMPLETELY solved between us. These things can't be mixed. At least this wouldn't feel correct in my relationship. Every discipline has a different goal and never just happens to administer pain.
Avery If the they are adults and in something resembling an equal power relationship.
Of course it can only be consensual between adults and from how I read it Joh sees it the same way, but I don't understand the second half of your sentence, too. I don't live in an equal power relationship and I don't want to live in an equal power relationship. I am happy to live in a male led relationship and that he has far more power then I have. Equal power is not what I want or what I need. What I want and need is the feeling that I as a person have the same value and that my wishes, goals and needs are covered in our relationship as well as his. As long as this is given, I don't need power.