youdontknowme Nothing about me feels bad about being unusual in that way
This is a good thing.
youdontknowme I have so far found the asexual community very inclusive and accommodating of people with different "wirings".
I know of only one asexual person. She is a woman who calls herself Evie Lupine and I listen each week to her youtube weekly stream on BDSM at 9PM New York time. Natch, it's available on youtube for viewing at any subsequent time. She is very welcoming of all manner of folk.
curious As far as I understand you got a Mysteel?
Isn't that the same type some of the long time 24/7 wearers like Angelina have as well? So not having the right belt is just a poor argument.
yes, so you can wear the belt 24/7, but the question is if @Jen wants to and as long as she has control over it, she will make the decisions herself
so i don't smoke and alcohol only sometimes, but without coffee i would die 
so i think the example of @Jen, no matter if the thing with the policewoman or the thing with her friends, has shown one thing. it is not the end of the world if you are open with the belt and if others know about it. however, i would make a distinction that explains why i can't do it that way, i could put my father in danger by being honest and being a bit crazy is something different than being at the mercy of others.
Angelina but without coffee i would die
Thing is, I do regularly drink black tea or sugary drinks, which are not necessarily healthier. I just do not like the taste of coffee.
youdontknowme Thing is, I do regularly drink black tea or sugary drinks, which are not necessarily healthier.
i rarely drink it, but coffee is important to me because i love the taste and aroma 
Angelina however, i would make a distinction that explains why i can't do it that way, i could put my father in danger by being honest and being a bit crazy is something different than being at the mercy of others.
There is a difference between being open about wearing a belt and being open about the reason and details involved.
I think a statement that everyone - even authorities should accept can be: "This belt is so I stay a virgin until my wedding night. And that is what I want."
And even if you have no choice Angelina, I cannot help to get the impression that you actually kind of proud now, that you will enter as virgin into your marriage, or am I mistaken? If you were given the option to stop wearing today or now follow through all the way to your wedding, what would you do?
curious And even if you have no choice Angelina, I cannot help to get the impression that you actually kind of proud now, that you will enter as virgin into your marriage, or am I mistaken? If you were given the option to stop wearing today or now follow through all the way to your wedding, what would you do?
Your assumption is not correct, I'm proud to have my first sex with my future wife, but if I didn't have to wear the belt today, I wouldn't be a virgin tomorrow
@Jen I hadn't visited the forum in a while, so I only read about this after it is all over, but I want to add my opinion anyway. I agree with @Amira that your mother's action was not OK, and that to me it sounds like she is trying to get more control again. Now that she has succeeded, I would guess she will try again, so my advice would be not to get too attached to the car: there might come a time where she wants something you really don't want, and you need to feel free to say no then.
I wonder if she deliberately proposed it to you that late, so you would have little time to get your thoughts organized. In any case I think it was a disrespectful move from her part, and risking the good understanding about the belt you had going.
In the end it seems to have worked out OK, and you might even feel the net result was positive, with the adaptations you worked out, but it was still a one-sided breach of your unspoken agreement that you decide when the belt is worn. (Yes, you were not literally forced to wear it, but depending on your actual situation, the use of a car can be close to a necessity.)
carg depending on your actual situation, the use of a car can be close to a necessity
How can something you never had before be considered a necessity?
Of course access to a car is a very tempting offer at that age. But there is nothing unfair about it, because by rejecting the offer everything would have been exactly as it was before.
The offer came without any pressure, as far as I got it. If I offer you 10, 000 US Dollar for whatever and tell you, you got 24h hours to accept or reject, that is clearly my right to do. If you are not happy with my condition until when you have to accept the offer, by all means, let it expire and just go on.
I think you are both right in parts. Carg is right about the time, I think it was all too short notice and the time was very short for @Jen to decide, probably to put pressure, which I think is very negative. Curious is also right though, @Jen always had the option to say no to the deal, so there was no real force.
This doesn't feel like what's happening, like control is the wrong word I think. I mean yeah she wants sex and playing with myself completely banned - but I agree and I agree for myself not to please her.
I mean yeah the car thing - I just don't want to worry - like worrying about that is anxiety type thinking.
carg so my advice would be not to get too attached to the car: there might come a time where she wants something you really don't want, and you need to feel free to say no then.
Yes, yes. Yeah feeling trapped is a downward spiral for my thoughts. It being something they can take away is easier actually.
curious There is a difference between being open about wearing a belt and being open about the reason and details involved.
I think a statement that everyone - even authorities should accept can be: "This belt is so I stay a virgin until my wedding night. And that is what I want."
"I think it's fun" is easier. But agree - no-one IRL knows the full reasons.
Jen "I think it's fun" is easier. But agree - no-one IRL knows the full reasons.
If you give "fun" as reason, people might expect you actually have the key.
For example at a security checkpoint (airport or otherwise) and expect you to take the belt off so they can go about their business as usual and you are not making their job harder.
If you make clear you wear it for a reason (willingly entered agreement that now is binding), they will have to accept that you cannot easily remove it and the have to handle your belt as part of their job.
And by the way: Yes, you can board a flight in a chastity belt. The devices of course detect metal, but it is not metal that is actually prohibited but a weapon.
Jonas I can see both sides too, but I think this is a work in progress. Both keyholder and wearer are still working out between them where this is all going to end up.
right, how it goes on must be determined by @Jen
curious If you give "fun" as reason, people might expect you actually have the key.
and even if it is? it's nobody's business. she can talk openly about it or not, nobody has the right to question it, at least not with adults.
Angelina it's nobody's business. she can talk openly about it or not, nobody has the right to question it, at least not with adults.
What I meant was:
If at a security checkpoint the personnel thinks you have the key, they might not let you pass but demand you go and come back without belt.
If however they believe you have no way to remove the belt, they will have to deal with processing you and clearing your security access with the belt locked on your body.
of course, in that case i agree with you, it only doesn't work if the parents have the keys and could therefore get into problems with minors. in general, however, it would also be very unpleasant for me because i'm usually not alone with the security at the airport and anyone could overhear that.
Angelina
Airport handling is easy. Instead of telling them about chastity belt, you simply say, you have a metal device which triggers the magnetometer which you are unable to remove and ask for being wandec or padded down in a private room.
There are people with metal implants, braces, etc all the time. So carefully wording things to get privacy without revealing anything in public is the key.
