Andrew I have a question for people who see masturbation as inappropriate behavior

I certainly see masturbation as wrong. ...for me. Other people can make up their own minds as to whether it is right or wrong for them and this can change over the course of their lives.

  • why do you think so if the mainstream of modern medicine and psychology see it as a normal (healthy) form of sexual expression?

Modern medicine and psychology adds the caveat that masturbation is a problem if it becomes distressing to the masturbator. Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

The NoFAP movement and the widespread availability of hardcore porn has had a effect on modern medical opinion. There is a noticeable push-back on the relaxed, liberal, sexual views of the 60s onwards.

I'm omitting compulsive masturbation here, which disrupts the functioning of a person.

This omission means I can't really answer any more, because I see masturbation as a short-circuit of the body's reward systems that can end up disrupting a person's functioning and wasting vast amounts of their time. A rabbit-hole.

I address this question especially to people whose motivation in this matter is non-religious.

If you substitute the words "danger" for "sin" and "good" for "god" then religious texts become more readable to the non-religious pov.

      Andrew
      I see masturbation is a good way to feel good and get your urge down to an not disturbance level. If the urge is too great, sexual harassment or rape may occur, which is not acceptable in any society.

      If masturbation is acceptable in a relation has do be discussed and decided in every relation by the couples.
      Since we individuals are so different, there can be no universal statement for this. Each and every one has to decide that for themselves.

        Rafael

        1) Why?
        2) Why? How you know it? You are man 😀.
        3) Why? If is girl at puberty, 13 yo for example, she really cant have a husband.
        And I can say that if Im with my bf I dont need finger myself often 😉.
        4) Why? Even if you will give every day 30 min to your happynes, you will have enaught time to everything other. And majority of girls do it less often.
        5) No. Why. I do it less then before. Hormons calm down.
        6) WTF, why? What you mean? I think that lascive and ocupited by sexuality is only your mind.
        7) Why? My partner know it about me I know it about him. My parents never asked but I will admit it if they will ask.
        Masturbation allows find what you like. And only if you are OK with your sexuality you can openly talk obout it with you partner, friends, parents, doctors, ...

        For me you dont answer the question. No proofs for your words.
        Only causeless and unsubstantiated assumptions that every psychologist/sexuologist will disprove.

            Rafael You can think it. Nobody force you to fap.
            But it is a CRIME that you are DESTROYING sexuality of your childrens.

                Rafael a quick and empty pleasure does not bring them anything

                lol my next lil squirt is for you

                    Andrew I have a question for people

                    I applaud your efforts @Andrew but I fear you waste your time. Families are of course entitled to their strongly held and detailed beliefs, and I applaud strongly held and detailed beliefs, but all you will get is statements, no reasons, as @Kaja 's posting points out. You won't get any whys.

                    Andrew the results negated my hypothesis regarding the relationship between masturbation and religiousness. Almost all respondents who found masturbation unacceptable also declared themselves non-religious.

                    Yes. Religions teach God made the body and to declare he made mistakes in what he did and we can't use the body he gave us is either blasphemous or heresy, I can never make out the difference.

                          Rafael Female sexuality is deeper than that of men, it must always be linked to feeling, a quick and empty pleasure does not bring them anything,

                          When I used to masturbate I always had a particular boy in mind, someone I cared about. I felt it connected us. So you are correct, female sexuality is deeper. My brothers masturbate to porn.

                          And it was not quick and empty. I took a lot more time with myself than any boy ever did and enjoyed myself thoroughly.

                            I think masturbation is appropriate and healthy in moderation, but it can also easily become a trap that leads to unhealthy behavior if left unchecked. So while moderate and excessive/compulsive masturbation must be judged differently, you cannot really judge one without considering the other.

                            As far as gender norms and modesty are concerned, I am a firm believer in equal rights and opportunities for all sexes and gender identities, so for me to accept any argument that one of them deserves a significantly different treatment than the other, I expect good reasons, not just a "that's how it is". If you were to argue that female modesty is more important than male modesty because that is a tradition you identify with, I can accept that as a good argument for living that lifestyle yourself, but not one an argument that is any good for convincing others outside that cultural circle of the same lifestyle.

                            Particularly in growing people, masturbation appears to me to be a healthy outlet for exploring your own sexuality and relieving sexual needs without engaging in dangerous behavior that risks anything from disease to unplanned pregnancy to exploitation by predators. And sexual exploration matters because young people need to learn to control their sexual expression and not to rely on outside enforcement for that control.

                            If there is one situation in which I would call moderate amounts of masturbation morally dubious, it would be in the context of a committed relationship. Not saying that masturbation while you have a partner is automatically bad, but you and your partner ought to be on the same page regarding whether using masturbation as a sexual outlet instead of waiting for an opportunity to do it with your partner is acceptable, or in what situations it is and when it is not.

                            As far as distractions are concerned, personally I spent way more time on sexual thoughts when I am denying myself orgasms than when I have them regularly. But I recognize that probably varies by individual and may have some gender bias in its variance as well. So your mileage may vary.

                            Finally, speaking of individual variance, I believe there is no one right system for everyone. How much masturbation is appropriate is something each individual must find out (or decide) for themself.

                              youdontknowme
                              I agree with you on your posting.

                              I would like to add. The feelings I have when I masturbate and when I have sex with my partner are different. I can't say if it's better or worse. Only that it is different.
                              From this experience I conclude that it will be the same for everyone and they have to decide for themselves what they prefer. And no one else can do that.

                                youdontknowme If there is one situation in which I would call moderate amounts of masturbation morally dubious, it would be in the context of a committed relationship. Not saying that masturbation while you have a partner is automatically bad, but you and your partner ought to be on the same page regarding whether using masturbation as a sexual outlet instead of waiting for an opportunity to do it with your partner is acceptable, or in what situations it is and when it is not.

                                Excellent presentation. In my age group, people going off to different universities hundreds of miles apart is fairly common. People of both sexes join the military and separate for months at a time. I have told the story of my high school boy friend going off to play baseball all summer. So just as you say you have to be on the same page as to what behaviors are OK.

                                  Avery

                                  Families are of course entitled to their strongly held and detailed beliefs, and I applaud strongly held and detailed beliefs, but all you will get is statements, no reasons, as @Kaja 's posting points out. You won't get any whys.

                                  Sometimes, even on the basis of statements, it is possible to find out what the reasons are behind them. Therefore, even these types of answers are valuable in my opinion, especially if they are sufficiently developed and detailed.

                                    youdontknowme If you were to argue that female modesty is more important than male modesty because that is a tradition you identify with, I can accept that as a good argument for living that lifestyle yourself,

                                    He is saying it. He does not expect convince to anyone. He responded according our thinking:

                                    Rafael but in the end these are our beliefs and I know that we are not the only ones to share opinion.

                                    Kaja No proofs for your words.

                                    They are our beliefs, not science.

                                    Kaja But it is a CRIME that you are DESTROYING sexuality of your childrens.

                                    He can respond by himself, but firstly in our family any child wears a belt, and anyone has sexuality destroyed.

                                              Jonas

                                              Modern medicine and psychology adds the caveat that masturbation is a problem if it becomes distressing to the masturbator.

                                              I have never come across such a reservation in the context of masturbation, rather in cases of sexual paraphilias. It is possible, that some doctors and psychologists use an analogy here.

                                              Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

                                              It's rather obvious, as with sexual relations.

                                              The NoFAP movement and the widespread availability of hardcore porn has had a effect on modern medical opinion. There is a noticeable push-back on the relaxed, liberal, sexual views of the 60s onwards.

                                              Looking at the changes in the ICD classification in recent years (ICD-10 -> ICD-11), I would say the exact opposite.

                                                  Rafael A very interesting answer. I see the dominance of cultural factors in it. Could you tell me what country are you from and what religion do you follow?

                                                    Andrew So I wonder what makes them reject the view expressed by mainstream medicine and psychology.

                                                    Truly there is not "mainstream" medicine talking about It. There are some articles, but mainly related to male masturbation, there are not medical evidences about any benefits of female masturbation.
                                                    Relief sexual tension, strength vaginal area, sleep well... are not benefits, since they are small, exist other ways to achieve those, or are unnecessary in most of girls.
                                                    Sexology is the "science" that touches more the topic, and obviously it has an important basis bias.

                                                    Andrew but none of them apply here...

                                                    No, certainly there is better motivation an reasons.

                                                    I share most of thinking of my uncle, but I think that exist another reason, it reinforces the path of behavior, setting and accomplishing the prohibition, it is obvious that all bad behaviors of a sexual nature move away from us.

                                                    I am not saying that this is nothing set in stone, and there are girls like @Sin or @Kaja who have another philosophy ans it's perfect for me, I do not say my morality is better, but I do not want their life for myself.

                                                          Ines Im sorry but I think that he is the same sexual predator of Charlotte.

                                                          Parents of charlotte use hard metods (drugs...), your parents use brainwashing. Metods are differents, but princip is the same. Im sorry for you. I dont want to offend anybody, but it is my personal opinion.

                                                              Jonas Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

                                                              Private, methinks, is how it should be done. If you force your children to keep their sexuality a secret they are apt to feel it's something to feel guilty about. They will likely feel they cannot discuss it with you and will get their information from other people which is not what many folks here want.

                                                                Kaja Im sorry for you.

                                                                I feel exactly the same for you.
                                                                I find very disgusting the apology of sexuality in your environment. 🤷🏻‍♀️

                                                                Kaja parents use brainwashing.

                                                                Kaja he is the same sexual predator of Charlotte.

                                                                Kaja I dont want to offend anybody,

                                                                😂 I am sure you do not want offend to anyone, as usual, for that your carefully selected words 😂

                                                                Kaja your parents use brainwashing

                                                                Yes... because a young girl spoiled by sex addition is much better than a girl behaving as is supposed she has... Bless brainwashing, then.
                                                                I am grateful everyday of my life for my brainwashing.