Andrew I have a question for people who see masturbation as inappropriate behavior - why do you think so

if someone is single, i don't think masturbation is wrong, but i reject it in a marriage/relationship because i think it's disrespectful to the partner. sexual contacts should then only take place with the person i love

Kaja your parents use brainwashing.

no, I see it differently. Convincing someone of the family culture is not brainwashing, it is simply an inner moral attitude

Joh When you are 14 years old? 😉 🤣
It can't be a solution.

I don't actually find that funny, my girlfriend was also 14 when we met, so why shouldn't that be a valid argument?

Sara2001 I think that's a good summary. You believe it's wrong because you believe it's wrong.

well said, because with all due respect to science, i think we are talking about a purely subjective topic here. I respect all opinions, but please don't try to present the subjective opinion as objective science, there is no clear answer to this question of whether masturbation is right or wrong from my point of view

  • Joh replied to this.

    Andrew I have never come across such a reservation in the context of masturbation, rather in cases of sexual paraphilias. It is possible, that some doctors and psychologists use an analogy here.

    See UK NHS for examples.

    Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

    It's rather obvious, as with sexual relations.

    The two are not the same. If people are caught having sex in public the newspapers will report it one way, if someone is caught masturbating the report will be very different.

    The NoFAP movement and the widespread availability of hardcore porn has had a effect on modern medical opinion. There is a noticeable push-back on the relaxed, liberal, sexual views of the 60s onwards.

    Looking at the changes in the ICD classification in recent years (ICD-10 -> ICD-11), I would say the exact opposite.

    Perhaps this is because ICD suffers from lag. I think you have pre-existing views on this subject. Preconceptions, you could say!

      Andrew
      Well, first of all masturbation is due to sexual desires and many people, as well as children, use porn to become aroused. But there's a reason why porn is actually prohibited for minors. It can influence their sexual education in a bad way and it can also give children the desire to realize their unnormal fantasies with other persons, also with older persons who are likely pedophiles.

      Apart from that many people, especially men, don't have a high after an orgasm as man, others do, but become sad or even a bit deoressed after masturbation. For them (us) it's better to avoid masturbation because that way they can actually live an overall happier life. You can sort of compare it to alcohol or drugs. You have a good time when you orgasm, but after it's gone it's nit nice anymore and after some time you also have the desire to masturbate again which becomes stronger day by day.
      Avoiding masturbation gives me a way happier life.

      Also, it's just a nice feeling of safety that you have when you are locked. Of course the belt does have discomfortable aspects, but the fact that your genitals are covered closely by the warm "hand" of the belt just feels really good. Might also have to do whith the fact that some people / men like to slide their hand under their pants without masturbating.

        Max9 but the fact that your genitals are covered closely by the warm "hand" of the belt just feels really good.

        Dunno about the warm part. I like the feeling of metal devices most when I am just putting them on and they are cold to the touch.

        Jonas See UK NHS for examples.

        I'm looking at the UK NHS websites and can't find anything like that. Can you send some link? The UK NHS, on the other hand, has plenty of publications advising masturbation, and those who masturbate are encouraged to cast aside any shame or guilt:

        https://www.sexualhealthsheffield.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Masturbation-web.pdf
        https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexandyoungpeople/Documents/4boysmay2009nonprinting.pdf
        https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexandyoungpeople/Documents/4girlsmay2009nonprinting.pdf

        Jonas The two are not the same. If people are caught having sex in public the newspapers will report it one way, if someone is caught masturbating the report will be very different.

        It is clear. In the case of public masturbation, we are usually dealing with exhibitionists whose behavior causes - especially in women - fear of a potential attack. For example: You will feel differently when you get on the bus and the guy sitting next to you takes out his dick and starts jerking off than when the couple in front of you starts making love.

        Jonas Perhaps this is because ICD suffers from lag. I think you have pre-existing views on this subject. Preconceptions, you could say!

        I have a very clear view on the issue of mastubation (as normal and healthy), but I also try to understand the opposite views and their background. Could you point to any contemporary sexological source that presents a negative attitude towards masturbation?

          Andrew when the couple in front of you starts making love.

          I'd like to see that. How crowded is the bus?

            Rafael Also say that I don't know why these beliefs surprise you so much when they are quite widespread.

            Because they are not quite widespread. At least not in Germany. Here it's seen as a very fundamentalistic and outdated point of view. Far beyond being conservative.

              Sara2001 they are not quite widespread

              Agree, of course they are not the most common perspective at all, but certainly they are not innovative or unknown ideas.
              If I think about philosophy in my home, and it is not very different.

              Sara2001 Far beyond being conservative.

              No, I think most of people neglect in this field, but do not neglect it does not mean being conservative.

              Avery I'd like to see that. How crowded is the bus?

              Usually quite empty, mostly on night lines. In larger Polish cities, such situations take place every few months. I suspect it's the same in other European countries.

                Kaja I think it is always a kind of control over the children. Men (parents) who want to control children's sexuality. It is alway abusive (except in a sm relationship with partners having the same power and like this kind of sexuality).
                Most girls here started in their youth and now it's a kind of Stockholm syndrom. They could quit, but they don't because they are afraid of losing their parent's love. But this kind of love is no love at all. Or they think, they reached so much (I don't knowvwhat they reach) and the brainwashing continues.
                I don't mean to offend anyone here, it's just my opinion. But keyholders here should think about what I said, too

                  Andrew Usually quite empty, mostly on night lines. In larger Polish cities, such situations take place every few months. I suspect it's the same in other European countries.

                  Interesting. In the US I've never heard of people doing it on the bus or the tube but rather in the hot tub at the gym in the hours just before closing.

                    Sara2001 Rafael Also say that I don't know why these beliefs surprise you so much when they are quite widespread.

                    Because they are not quite widespread. At least not in Germany. Here it's seen as a very fundamentalistic and outdated point of view. Far beyond being conservative.

                    In Poland, the situation is somewhat similar to that in Germany, with the difference that masturbation is certainly more taboo - it is a topic that is basically not discussed either at home or in public, except for publications on sex life. Moral objections to masturbation are presented only by church circles, but few people care about them, similarly to the teaching of the church on contraception or premarital sex, despite the fact that most Poles are Catholics, at least declaratively. Reflections on the need for women to conduct themselves better than men are perceived by the majority of society as outdated and usually ridiculed, although they sometimes appear in the public space, such as the statement of the Minister of Education Czarnek about "strengthening the virtues of women".

                      Angelina I don't actually find that funny, my girlfriend was also 14 when we met, so why shouldn't that be a valid argument?

                      OK. I meant it as a general solution is not possible.
                      If you are in the right age range it is possible in Germany. I don't know how it is in other countries. In that case it is a solution.
                      Under consideration you start to find out what sexuality is masturbation is the first step before you have a relation with someone else.

                        Max9 Apart from that many people, especially men, don't have a high after an orgasm as man, others do, but become sad or even a bit deoressed after masturbation. For them (us) it's better to avoid masturbation because that way they can actually live an overall happier life. You can sort of compare it to alcohol or drugs. You have a good time when you orgasm, but after it's gone it's nit nice anymore and after some time you also have the desire to masturbate again which becomes stronger day by day.
                        Avoiding masturbation gives me a way happier life.

                        This fits for you but I can't confirm it. And I believe you will find many men who have a happy life with masturbation.

                          a_father I agree with you, but I will make one more hypothesis. Sadomasochistic behavior sometimes also occurs in children (I know what I'm talking about, because I've had this type of tendencies myself since about the age of 6, and chastity belts have turned me on since I was 13). It seems to me that a large part of the girls on the forum are simply in a sadomasochistic relationship, only not with a sexual partner, but with their parents. This relationship generally suits them and gives them satisfaction, even when it is sometimes difficult for them in practice. The average teenage girl of today, if her parents offered her to wear a chastity belt, would probably react something like this: "Are you completely fucked up!?". Acceptance by a minor of wearing a chastity belt is for me either a manifestation of specific inclinations or evidence of the use of violence (especially psychological) that the person wearing the belt experiences.

                            Avery It seems to me that in Europe such situations happen much more often, because the penalties for "indecent acts" are much lower than in the USA, in some countries even symbolic.

                            Andrew "strengthening the virtues of women".

                            It is very important in my opinion, they are weak, and without women virtue, society in general is worse.

                            Andrew Reflections on the need for women to conduct themselves better than men are perceived by the majority of society as outdated and usually ridiculed

                            I find this unfortunate. I get my ass patted by some of my classmates and teammates, not just strangers on the subway. I cannot imagine a society where women behaved as badly, or anywhere near it.