Keyholder welcome thread.
Jen wow like 5-7 years is insane like legit like either he's the one or I'll move on!!!
Yes, do it if you are in the situation.
I just wanted to point out that really getting to know each other and the unpleasant sides of the other can show up quite late. And from my experience I can confirm it. The first few years are very good, then here and there are little things that bother you a bit, but over time they slowly build up into problems if they are not actively addressed. And all of a sudden things start to go wrong.
Joh
I think that happens because people think "I want this to work" instead of "I want to know if this is right." If your goal is to figure out if you are right for each other, and you actively share your deal breakers and your shortcomings and quirks, and you don't each pretend to be a perfect little angel for as long as you can keep it up, I don't think it takes nearly as long.
MissBlossom My brother went through this shift not long ago. His longtime girlfriend left him shortly after they got engaged a few years back. After he started dating again, he approached it from a different perspective. He wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but someone who wanted to marry him. He got married about a year ago and they just had their first kid. He seems to be much happier than I have seen him in a long time so it worked well for him.
that can happen, that people change, but i still think that you should adapt to each other. when you get married, you promise to stay together even in bad times.
my grandma once said: "if i had divorced her every time we had an argument, i could have divorced her 10 times" (my grandparents were married for 50 years until my grandpa died)
Joh It also can be both develop in different directions and it doesn't match any more.
I wonder how often it happens that people grow in different directions that are truly incompatible. I think a lot of people (at least people I've known) want their spouse to be their bff and get disappointed when that doesn't happen.
I think more marriages would last if people thought that it's okay for him to like golf if you don't, and it's okay for you to like scrapbooking if he doesn't.
MissBlossom Something you hit on, it helps if you do have hobbies or interests that are not shared. No matter how much you love someone you will get tired of them if you spend every waking moment together.
MissBlossom want their spouse to be their bff and get disappointed when that doesn't happen.
I’ve never really understood that desire to be honest.
What I think I want in a partner/spouse is obviously love and trust. But someone who shares a few common interests, but not all of my interests
But also someone who makes up for my shortcomings. I’m very good at this you’re good at that. So neither of us really has a dominant position in the relationship, we just make one whole
Angelina From my own expiriance I can say sometime it is Not possible to find a comon Base anymore.
If you are Young when you start a Relation you are still in development. It is likely the development has different direction. Look at the divorce rate. 20012 it was 50% and 2021 it was 40% in Germany.
Nice thread.
Keyholder to my wife now emergency keys for my stepdaughter.