Damien I mean, on the one hand you let her do the one thing a chastity belt is supposed to prevent, and it is fair to see that as a keyholding failure. Safeword use should immediately be followed up with a conversation about boundaries and why the safeword was used, and you did not have that.

On the other hand, you probably did not have an unlock procedure in place, and in that case it was the right call to end the no-longer-consensual arrangement as quickly as possible. Give her access to the key first, talk later - the safeword means she no longer consents. The fact that she decided to violate her chastity before talking to you is on her. Being her strength against safeword misuse only becomes your responsibility if you have (consensually) defined a safeword procedure that does not start with an immediate unlock.

      youdontknowme you probably did not have an unlock procedure in place

      Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers) here think about it.

      On the other hand, this Australian girl never had her own emergency key, so I found (and still find) it adequate that she could safeword out immediately any time, with the questions discussed only after the safe has opened. It was just - surprising!

          Damien

          Well, she used her safeword, and ask for umbelting.
          In your case is not a fail, it is a part of the procedure.

            Damien Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers) here think about it.

            In the context of BDSM play, it would probably considered a form of CNC. Best not proposed by the keyholder unless they are very close to the wearer. In the context of "serious" belt use, it could be argued that it is a valid measure to combat self-destructive impulsive behavior, but still, such arrangements push the boundaries of FRIES consent.

              Damien Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers) here think about it.

              I think this is the only adult way to do this, otherwise you are someone else's prisoner, at least as far as wearing chastity gear is concerned. I could understand someone surrendering control over their body in some way as part of a game, e.g. some sort of BDSM-like scene, if they get off on that. But trusting someone else enough to give them irrevocable control, even for a period of time, no.

                Damien "everything's fine but I need the code by tonight 11pm"

                "I'm about to have sex, please give me the key from my chastity belt" 😃

                    Renita that wording would have led to a different outcome. I'd have told her I'd think about it and ponder the pros and cons, before saying no two hours later 🙂 But the safeword made this whole conversation mute.

                        Damien surprised how much resistance the cables put up against my side cutters

                        That is because the thin looking cables apparently really are some kind of stainless steel, cutting the same thickness of zinc-plated PVC-coated steel cable is significantly easier. But even then, for the diameter (which looks to be about 4mm) that is used by FS or for rear cables used by other manufacturers the correct tool are bolt cutters and if that is not available it makes more sense to either file or saw through it (which as you are cutting individual wires and in the process fraying the cable is surprisingly easy. But note that the same effect introduces another, and somewhat unpredictable, injury hazard into the process of cutting something off from someone).

                          Damien she mused that it's a waste and a shame, that expensive my-steel belt just lying around

                          She could have passed the keys to her parents

                              Laura She could have passed the keys to her parents

                              I enjoy a deep and trustful relationship with my old parents, but I'd never discuss my sexual preference with them in detail, let alone put it at their disposition.

                                Damien Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers)

                                Aside from truly abusive situations that the forum is always absolutely against, I think "enforced" chastity really is about the wearer consensually setting up a series of roadblocks between themselves and sexual experience. Even the belt itself is just a means of delaying gratification to the point where sexual decisions can be made with a clear head and in line with the wearer's values and life goals. This may end up being an indefinite, permanent delay, if that's what the wearer wants. The sex drive is powerful, bound up with very strong emotions and has the capacity to overrule reason. A chastity belt just levels the playing field: It allows good decisions to be made and mistakes avoided.

                                I think @Angelina has written about the idea of a simple time delay between asking for the chastity belt key and receiving it. This seems very sensible to me. I would go further and increase this removal delay so that it always equalled the number of days that the wearer had previously chosen to be in chastity. This would create a cool-down down period that respects both your desire to change and all the days you've been chaste: If you've committed to chastity every day for a week, then you should ask for removal each day for a week... and then be released.

                                Ofc where safety is concerned this has to overrule all other considerations. Safe-words are therefore necessary but leave a huge security gap that can be exploited by the simplest of cheating: the false claim. Their use really does need to be confined to mental and physical safety as opposed to being allowed to become a "Get out of Chastity-Jail Free" card. The issue then returns to the simple but thorny problem of maintaining consensual activity while impeding the will. Can people consent to giving up consent? I think the existence of police forces suggest that it is possible, but it does require huge checks and balances to prevent abuses.

                                  Things going wrong with chastity, awkward situations and "fails"

                                  Needed to visit doctor. Chastity device lock totally gummed up after 6 or 7 months of permanent wear. Key wouldn't turn. No way. Couldn't cut through the lock with available tools and time. Had to visit doctor wearing.

                                  It was stressful more than embarrassing but it did force me to confront the idea that my chastity is really important to me. Much more important than a bit of stress and embarrassment. Way, way, more important in fact.

                                  The experience also helped me to stop worrying about what other people think!! It is, after all, always very simple really: The response to chastity is like anything else... if people are being nice they'll think something nice, if they're in a mood to be nasty, they'll think something nasty!

                                  Of course, this was all with a smaller chastity device. This Neosteel is a more impressive and shocking bit of kit!! It looks like I've been fitted with a parking-boot/wheel-clamp!!

                                    Damien You didnt fail. She has what she wants. You did your job fine. You was good keyholder as long as she needs/wants it.