Things going wrong with chastity, awkward situations and "fails"

Ines

I think as you.

youdontknowme

Damien Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers) here think about it.

In the context of BDSM play, it would probably considered a form of CNC. Best not proposed by the keyholder unless they are very close to the wearer. In the context of "serious" belt use, it could be argued that it is a valid measure to combat self-destructive impulsive behavior, but still, such arrangements push the boundaries of FRIES consent.

Avery

Damien Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers) here think about it.

I think this is the only adult way to do this, otherwise you are someone else's prisoner, at least as far as wearing chastity gear is concerned. I could understand someone surrendering control over their body in some way as part of a game, e.g. some sort of BDSM-like scene, if they get off on that. But trusting someone else enough to give them irrevocable control, even for a period of time, no.

Renita

Damien "everything's fine but I need the code by tonight 11pm"

"I'm about to have sex, please give me the key from my chastity belt" 😃

Damien

Renita that wording would have led to a different outcome. I'd have told her I'd think about it and ponder the pros and cons, before saying no two hours later 🙂 But the safeword made this whole conversation mute.

Renita

Damien Emotions...

MissBlossom

Damien But the safeword made this whole conversation mute.

It left you speechless? lol

Damien

MissBlossom moot. I meant moot, not mute! It's been a while since I learnt English in school 🙂

MissBlossom

Damien
Oh, you didn't mean "moo"?

https://youtu.be/62necDwQb5E

6373e6b2

Damien surprised how much resistance the cables put up against my side cutters

That is because the thin looking cables apparently really are some kind of stainless steel, cutting the same thickness of zinc-plated PVC-coated steel cable is significantly easier. But even then, for the diameter (which looks to be about 4mm) that is used by FS or for rear cables used by other manufacturers the correct tool are bolt cutters and if that is not available it makes more sense to either file or saw through it (which as you are cutting individual wires and in the process fraying the cable is surprisingly easy. But note that the same effect introduces another, and somewhat unpredictable, injury hazard into the process of cutting something off from someone).

Laura

Damien she mused that it's a waste and a shame, that expensive my-steel belt just lying around

She could have passed the keys to her parents

Damien

Laura She could have passed the keys to her parents

I enjoy a deep and trustful relationship with my old parents, but I'd never discuss my sexual preference with them in detail, let alone put it at their disposition.

Jonas

Damien Consensual unlock procedure, that's an intriguing idea. I'd be curious what the wearers (well the ones who have a say about it, I'll never get used to the concept of involuntary wearers)

Aside from truly abusive situations that the forum is always absolutely against, I think "enforced" chastity really is about the wearer consensually setting up a series of roadblocks between themselves and sexual experience. Even the belt itself is just a means of delaying gratification to the point where sexual decisions can be made with a clear head and in line with the wearer's values and life goals. This may end up being an indefinite, permanent delay, if that's what the wearer wants. The sex drive is powerful, bound up with very strong emotions and has the capacity to overrule reason. A chastity belt just levels the playing field: It allows good decisions to be made and mistakes avoided.

I think @Angelina has written about the idea of a simple time delay between asking for the chastity belt key and receiving it. This seems very sensible to me. I would go further and increase this removal delay so that it always equalled the number of days that the wearer had previously chosen to be in chastity. This would create a cool-down down period that respects both your desire to change and all the days you've been chaste: If you've committed to chastity every day for a week, then you should ask for removal each day for a week... and then be released.

Ofc where safety is concerned this has to overrule all other considerations. Safe-words are therefore necessary but leave a huge security gap that can be exploited by the simplest of cheating: the false claim. Their use really does need to be confined to mental and physical safety as opposed to being allowed to become a "Get out of Chastity-Jail Free" card. The issue then returns to the simple but thorny problem of maintaining consensual activity while impeding the will. Can people consent to giving up consent? I think the existence of police forces suggest that it is possible, but it does require huge checks and balances to prevent abuses.

Jonas

Things going wrong with chastity, awkward situations and "fails"

Needed to visit doctor. Chastity device lock totally gummed up after 6 or 7 months of permanent wear. Key wouldn't turn. No way. Couldn't cut through the lock with available tools and time. Had to visit doctor wearing.

It was stressful more than embarrassing but it did force me to confront the idea that my chastity is really important to me. Much more important than a bit of stress and embarrassment. Way, way, more important in fact.

The experience also helped me to stop worrying about what other people think!! It is, after all, always very simple really: The response to chastity is like anything else... if people are being nice they'll think something nice, if they're in a mood to be nasty, they'll think something nasty!

Of course, this was all with a smaller chastity device. This Neosteel is a more impressive and shocking bit of kit!! It looks like I've been fitted with a parking-boot/wheel-clamp!!

Damien

Parking clamp, I think you judge your outfit style too harshly Jonas 🙂 Neosteel's polished belts are elegant devices!
But a lock that fails to open is very disappointing. Was it one of those chinese copper cylindric insert locks?

Kaja

Damien You didnt fail. She has what she wants. You did your job fine. You was good keyholder as long as she needs/wants it.

Damien

Thank You @Kaja

Jonas

Damien Parking clamp, I think you judge your outfit style too harshly Jonas 🙂 Neosteel's polished belts are elegant devices!

Yes indeed Neosteel chastity belts really are things of beauty. I chose unpolished, functional, with a big lock so I'm not really complaining!!

But a lock that fails to open is very disappointing. Was it one of those chinese copper cylindric insert locks?

It was a lower quality small padlock and I'd neglected to maintain it at all. It did however, in situ, put up far more of a fight than I expected it to! Well done little padlock! I salute you!!

Angelina

Damien On the other hand, this Australian girl never had her own emergency key, so I found (and still find) it adequate that she could safeword out immediately any time, with the questions discussed only after the safe has opened. It was just - surprising!

i think the scenario is clear. there was a safeword and you both knew what it meant, so there is no more discussion. if the safeword is used, you have to grant access to the release, everything else is no longer your responsibility.

pestulens

Damien Sounds like a less-than-ideal outcome, but hopefully she is happy with her decision.
Nothing you could have done ethically once the safeword came out, that is a line that should never be crossed.

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