Single again chastity

curious

Ines
Thank you

Andrew

Kaja No and no and no

Kaja, take it easy. Based on @Christine's story, it's rather unlikely that @curious (or anyone else) will convince her to wear the belt again. However, if she agreed to it, it would be a conscious consent (she knows perfectly well what wearing a belt is) and her own choice.

Kaja

curious Sorry but I never say any word against somebody who wears cb from his/her own desire. You say somethink what is not true - what I never did or never sayd.

Im only against forced using.

You are not able to accept that exist people with different values than you. You push everybody there to 24/7 chastity. You dont rescpet their targets and wishes.

For you there is only white or black. But world is not bipolar, really.

Kaja

curious I did never offened you. Sorry.

I have to say it for you ONE MORE TIME.

I never want for Ines stop wearing one (or Maia etc etc). I rescept that thay want stay virgin and thay want not to masturbate.
But Ines and her family (and others useres) have to accept that others (her sister for example) have different opinion. It is not importatnt if sister doesnt want to stay "pure" or she just doesnt want to be inprisoned in metal panties. It is her life and her body. Amen.

I never say that you may to stop wearing one, because it is your life and body.

But chastity is not solutions for everybody and everythink.
If you are scared of pregnancy - there is contraception, if you have problem with controling sexuality - cb never solve it (you have to remove causes and not sequels), if you want stay virgin - you have not to wear cb 24/7, wearing it at risky time is enaugh (it can be less than once a week).
And the most important is that you have to have freedom of choose.

Do you understand me? Will you parrot that I dispraise serious using?

curious

Kaja
The problem you do not understand is, that often it is not just about risky times. Sometimes you do not know in advance when such a risk might come up.
And have you read about @Ines fighting her belt?
Most people have the urge to masturbate and the belt is a tool to make sure you cannot do that.
Sometimes in life you make a decision knowing that is a one way street and you cannot easily change your mind, once it is taken. Please look at the decision for serious use of a belt that way. You might not like it, but actually giving away the right to cancel the agreement to wear the belt, once it has been made is part of the deal for most serious users. And if the wearer is adult and has decided that this is what he/she wants, you should accept this and not always shout 'no, no, totally wrong'.
If someone wants to get a branding, they can. I might think it is stupid. I might see it just as an ugly scar rather than something beautiful. That is my right as much as it is their right to get that branding. But if I join a forum that is dedicated to the discussion of branding, it is wrong to constantly go against branding. There is a fine line between freedom of speech and disrespect.
If this was a general forum discussing relationships and someone suggests a chastity belt, yes, you can freely state your opinion about freedom etc. But you are in a forum that is dedicated to the serious use of belts and voicing opposing opinions in a place that has a dedicated purpose is disrespectful.
See my 3xample about the. church. You can stand on the street and tell everybody that there is no God and atheism is the only right way. Perfectly fine. But saying the exact same thing inside a church is wrong and disrespectful because that place is dedicated to worship a God.
Now apply the same to this forum please.
This place is dedicated to discus serious use of chastity belts, so you have to accept that people here use a belt in ways you find wrong and too strict. But because this is a place dedicated to such use, your right to freedom of speech does not apply here and you must learn to accept that not every freedom you enjoy (e. g. speech) has a limit where it starts to invade on the freedom of others to their opinion. And places that are dedicated to a certain way of thinking automatically set a limit as to what you can say there without offending people.
I hope you understand these differences. Learning what is appropriate to say or better not to say is a lesson for your life you really should learn. Now you are young and people will look over many of the things you do in a 'well, she does not know better' way. If you are 30 or 40 and show the same kind of behaviour, you would face a much much harsher response. So please don't reject what I am trying to tell you but think of it as a well meant help and lesson.

Christine

Jonas Only if you're both wearing (with your aunt acting as keyholder) would things be completely fair

But she can let mom out, while I'm belted all the time.

Jonas Has the belt you bought for your mom already stopped her from having sex? Are you sure?

You can't have sex being in a chastity belt.

Jonas Will you firmly enforce what is now her no-sex-until-marriage rule?

Yes, and I keep suggesting marriage, otherwise her belt will stay on.

Jonas Then it looks like your mom has ended up locked in the chastity she wanted for you

It sounds unusual, but it works.

Jonas It's funny how things turn out.

I'm glad I was successive in it.

curious So are you sure you do not need a belt when this part is taken into account too, because you never ever touch yourself?

I think that masturbation is not such a big problem.

Jonas

Christine Jonas Then it looks like your mom has ended up locked in the chastity she wanted for you

It sounds unusual, but it works.

I wonder if your mother projected her own need for a chastity belt onto you? I wonder if any other parents who write here do the same?

curious

Christine But she can let mom out, while I'm belted all the time.

Why should your aunt make a difference and keep you locked while your mother is let out?
I think the rules should be 100% equal in this case.

Angelina

Christine Well, it was not important before, but she's convinced me.

but then you are now at the same point of double standards that your mother had before. You're both single women, so you should both wear a belt, or both shouldn't. there is no reason that one person wears a belt and the other doesn't (please don't get me wrong, this was also true in the last few years when you were in the belt)

curious You do not go to a catholic church and loudly proclaim there that everyone is wrong and should become an atheist instead, do you?

I should do that haha 🤣

Christine But she can let mom out, while I'm belted all the time.

do you think that would happen? only in theory, but do you think if your aunt was the key holder for both of you, that your mother would get more freedom than you?

Christine

Jonas I wonder if your mother projected her own need for a chastity belt onto you?

Sure thing now.

Jonas I wonder if any other parents who write here do the same?

Unless they already wear.

curious Why should your aunt make a difference and keep you locked while your mother is let out?

Coz they are sisters.

Angelina but then you are now at the same point of double standards that your mother had before.

I never cared about double standards.

Angelina do you think that would happen?

I think, it was the whole idea of that offer.

Angelina but do you think if your aunt was the key holder for both of you, that your mother would get more freedom than you?

Mom can persuade aunt to let her out for a while.

Kaja

curious

a) You dont have true.
b) You all the time repeat what I didnt say and didnt do. I dont have problem with serious user. I never had it. Only you pick it in my mouth.

Joh

curious I have seen various reasons here in the forum why a CB was considered. It was good to discuss the teme in detail and show options. Either the whole thing was reconsidered or they were really sure they wanted it.
If someone has a problem with extensive masturbation, a CB is a solution to prevent it but it doesn't change the problem. I think professional help should be sought first. A CB can temporarily help reduce the impact until it is better controlled.
If a woman is afraid of an unwanted pregnancy, why does she have to give up masturbation? She is responsible for herself and can decide when and for how long she wants to wear the CB to prevent it.
Every situation is different and so are the expectations. Your idea of how it should work is not the solution for everyone but only for a few.
@Kaja is, in my opinion, often undiplomatically in her formulations so that it sounds harsh. English is not her mother tongue and her social environment is not yours. I often find her statements appropriate, just not well formulated. I also welcome other views so that there is a broad basis for a sound decision. That's all we can do.

youdontknowme

curious See my 3xample about the. church. You can stand on the street and tell everybody that there is no God and atheism is the only right way. Perfectly fine. But saying the exact same thing inside a church is wrong and disrespectful because that place is dedicated to worship a God.

But this is not a church. This is not a place to worship chastity. This is a place where people who deal with chastity belts in their daily lives in some way come together and talk about the way it affects our lives, and how to best live with it. We have enthusiastic wearers, sure, but there are also less-than-enthusiastic wearers and even some less-than-consensual wearers in here. Our job is not to make them like their chastity belt, it is to support them through their daily lives. And sometimes, in cases of extreme non-consent, even to provide them with resources that can free them of the belt.

And even if we assume that a person wants to not have sex, they are still free to make their own choices as to what chastity means to them. Saying no to sleeping around is very different to saying no to any form of carnal pleasure whatsoever. And even if you want to stop any form of touching for pleasure, how far are you willing to go. A chastity belt has practical drawbacks - dealing with them is a major part of what this forum is about - and whether a person is willing to endure them all to achieve their goal is their choice and theirs alone.

None of us are against sexual abstinence, or no-carnal-pleasure-at-all chastity. But I think it is justified to speak out against not just physical, but also emotional pressure to put people into belts.

Kaja

Thank you all. You recapitulated what I said in past in more noble words.

curious

Christine
If different treatment is your concearn but you otherwise like the idea, why don't you talk to your aunt and make it a condition that the rules and how strictly they enforced must be 100% the same for you and your mother. Nobody should have an advantage.
If your aunt agrees to that - preferably in writing - all is good. Isn't it?

Angelina

Christine I never cared about double standards.

unfortunately, i think this is very wrong, but it seems to be the same thing your mother has been doing for the last few years.

Christine Mom can persuade aunt to let her out for a while.

yes, but you could too, if then the rules have to be the same for both of you and your aunt has to enforce them.

Owl

Christine Mom can persuade aunt to let her out for a while.

If you fear that kind of "social engineering", just a technical interjection: How adding unique plastic seals signed by you to her belt? So Aunt is keyholder, but you'd have much higher certainty to learn about any potential, extraordinary breaks.

It think this can be argued for. Especially since some conflict of interest on her side would only be human.

Christine

Angelina nd your aunt has to enforce them

And change her mind later.

Owl How adding unique plastic seals signed by you to her belt? So Aunt is keyholder, but you'd have much higher certainty to learn about any potential, extraordinary breaks.

What's a difference from emergency key? Keyholder should be able to let you out at any time.

curious

Angelina I never cared about double standards

But you should. Double standards are wrong on an ethical level. I know your mother did a poor job of being a role model in that regard, but once you have realised this, it is for you to become better and do the right thing than rather repeat the same unethical behaviour.

curious

Christine What's a difference from emergency key? Keyholder should be able to let you out at any time.

The difference would be that your aunt cannot let out your mother without you knowing it. So secretly having different rules preferential to your mum will not be possible then. So you can be confident that she will honour the agreement of same rules and freedoms (or actually the degree of enforced chastity) and enter into that contract with your aunt with confidence that it 2ill be fair and equal.

Angelina

Christine And change her mind later.

it can happen, but if you think it's not fair and your aunt would prefer your mother, you can always cancel the deal and stop using the belt again. unlike a year ago, you hold all the cards yourself.

curious But you should. Double standards are wrong on an ethical level. I know your mother did a poor job of being a role model in that regard, but once you have realised this, it is for you to become better and do the right thing than rather repeat the same unethical behaviour.

why am I quoted when @Christine wrote this? 😂

Joh

Christine And change her mind later.

If don't trust your aunt make no deal with her.

Owl

Christine What's a difference from emergency key? Keyholder should be able to let you out at any time.

curious already answered for me (thx).

Joh If don't trust your aunt make no deal with her.

I'd add that trust often is not a binary of absolute trust vs absolute mistrust, no matter the circumstance. (For the record, Joh, not that I'm saying that's what you claimed.) Yet, I support the general line of reasoning. Either I'd find rules and measures that gives me sufficient trust in the arrangement (particularly keyholder(s)), or I wouldn't consent to it.

Generally, I also could imagine small steps to learn about a certain person. How they behave and handle situations. Like trial periods. For instance, letting them bear the responsibility for 1 single day, or 1 day per week, while the rest of time stays the current situation. When I got a bad feeling at some time, I'd investigate about the reason; and if no reasonable explanation I'd refrain to go further for a time, rather roll back.

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