Single again chastity

Christine Well, it was not important before, but she's convinced me.

but then you are now at the same point of double standards that your mother had before. You're both single women, so you should both wear a belt, or both shouldn't. there is no reason that one person wears a belt and the other doesn't (please don't get me wrong, this was also true in the last few years when you were in the belt)

curious You do not go to a catholic church and loudly proclaim there that everyone is wrong and should become an atheist instead, do you?

I should do that haha

Christine But she can let mom out, while I'm belted all the time.

do you think that would happen? only in theory, but do you think if your aunt was the key holder for both of you, that your mother would get more freedom than you?

curious See my 3xample about the. church. You can stand on the street and tell everybody that there is no God and atheism is the only right way. Perfectly fine. But saying the exact same thing inside a church is wrong and disrespectful because that place is dedicated to worship a God.

But this is not a church. This is not a place to worship chastity. This is a place where people who deal with chastity belts in their daily lives in some way come together and talk about the way it affects our lives, and how to best live with it. We have enthusiastic wearers, sure, but there are also less-than-enthusiastic wearers and even some less-than-consensual wearers in here. Our job is not to make them like their chastity belt, it is to support them through their daily lives. And sometimes, in cases of extreme non-consent, even to provide them with resources that can free them of the belt.

And even if we assume that a person wants to not have sex, they are still free to make their own choices as to what chastity means to them. Saying no to sleeping around is very different to saying no to any form of carnal pleasure whatsoever. And even if you want to stop any form of touching for pleasure, how far are you willing to go. A chastity belt has practical drawbacks - dealing with them is a major part of what this forum is about - and whether a person is willing to endure them all to achieve their goal is their choice and theirs alone.

None of us are against sexual abstinence, or no-carnal-pleasure-at-all chastity. But I think it is justified to speak out against not just physical, but also emotional pressure to put people into belts.

Jonas I wonder if your mother projected her own need for a chastity belt onto you?

Sure thing now.

Jonas I wonder if any other parents who write here do the same?

Unless they already wear.

curious Why should your aunt make a difference and keep you locked while your mother is let out?

Coz they are sisters.

Angelina but then you are now at the same point of double standards that your mother had before.

I never cared about double standards.

Angelina do you think that would happen?

I think, it was the whole idea of that offer.

Angelina but do you think if your aunt was the key holder for both of you, that your mother would get more freedom than you?

Mom can persuade aunt to let her out for a while.

Christine
If different treatment is your concearn but you otherwise like the idea, why don't you talk to your aunt and make it a condition that the rules and how strictly they enforced must be 100% the same for you and your mother. Nobody should have an advantage.
If your aunt agrees to that - preferably in writing - all is good. Isn't it?

Christine I never cared about double standards.

unfortunately, i think this is very wrong, but it seems to be the same thing your mother has been doing for the last few years.

Christine Mom can persuade aunt to let her out for a while.

yes, but you could too, if then the rules have to be the same for both of you and your aunt has to enforce them.

Christine What's a difference from emergency key? Keyholder should be able to let you out at any time.

The difference would be that your aunt cannot let out your mother without you knowing it. So secretly having different rules preferential to your mum will not be possible then. So you can be confident that she will honour the agreement of same rules and freedoms (or actually the degree of enforced chastity) and enter into that contract with your aunt with confidence that it 2ill be fair and equal.

Angelina I never cared about double standards

But you should. Double standards are wrong on an ethical level. I know your mother did a poor job of being a role model in that regard, but once you have realised this, it is for you to become better and do the right thing than rather repeat the same unethical behaviour.

Christine And change her mind later.

If don't trust your aunt make no deal with her.

Christine What's a difference from emergency key? Keyholder should be able to let you out at any time.

curious already answered for me (thx).

Joh If don't trust your aunt make no deal with her.

I'd add that trust often is not a binary of absolute trust vs absolute mistrust, no matter the circumstance. (For the record, Joh, not that I'm saying that's what you claimed.) Yet, I support the general line of reasoning. Either I'd find rules and measures that gives me sufficient trust in the arrangement (particularly keyholder(s)), or I wouldn't consent to it.

Generally, I also could imagine small steps to learn about a certain person. How they behave and handle situations. Like trial periods. For instance, letting them bear the responsibility for 1 single day, or 1 day per week, while the rest of time stays the current situation. When I got a bad feeling at some time, I'd investigate about the reason; and if no reasonable explanation I'd refrain to go further for a time, rather roll back.

Owl For the record, Joh, not that I'm saying that's what you claimed.

Everyone has to find out for themselves whether they trust someone. That was the content of my statement.
If there are concerns, I advise you to have some kind of protection so that you can always get out of the situation.

Owl Generally, I also could imagine small steps to learn about a certain person. How they behave and handle situations. Like trial periods. For instance, letting them bear the responsibility for 1 single day, or 1 day per wee

sorry, this can work for small things, but we are talking about giving up control of one's sexuality, there has to be trust, there has to be 100% trust and if there is not 100% trust, then you should not give the key to that person.

Owl . (The mutual mistrust and all that stuff between those two going on for so long now.)

i agree here, there really is a problem. but i think before you think about both in the belt and keys to the aunt, you should work on these problems, otherwise it won't work because there will always be mistrust.

Christine
What about the keyholdering offer for both of you? And news on that front?
Do you still allow your mom to have breaks for private time or have you progressed her to the same strict "no masturbation" rules you had before?

Christine Mom wears her belt all the time and she seems get used to it well.

i still think it would be good if both or neither of you wear a belt, anything else is kind of a double standard
PS: Nice, you are back