Partners on the forum
We weren't even aware of this thread until the most recent posts..
However, my partner does read this forum and if anyone wants to know what her opinions and motivations are in our relationship, she is willing to answer questions.
Sara2001
Sorry, I found this post now and I am refering to
Sara2001 Daniel gave me this answer (translated by me, I hope we understood it right, it's about what is done when I get angry):
No disrespect and no disobedience are two of the most important rules in our relationship. She knows when she rebells against her equipment, she will get punished for this. She has a space to discuss her thoughts about her belt, bra and tightbands in a calm and respectful way during her weekly maintenance, outside of this meeting I expect her to never argue against the belt or show any sign of resistance. The 2 corner times every day help her a lot to avoid lapses, the knowledge that the punishment will nothing she can enjoy does the rest. So she shows how hard it is for her from time to time but she never act up. There is nothing like a pause from our rules.
And thisSara2001 I have learned that emotional support doesn't need an argument about the device to happen. I can always say that I feel very limited or restricted. Or that this or that is not easy in my equipment. But I must begin with something like "Of course I understand why this is necessary and I don't want to change your decision but..." or "I of course understand why this is necessary but...". Of course it must not only be a phrase but he has to believe me, so it has to be honest.
Joh Of course I get hugs and things like that all the time, of course he shows me that he sees what I do for him and what I have to do because of the rules from my father, but it is normally not directly related to a concrete situation related to my equipment and the comfort issues related to it.
Sara2001 Of course I get hugs and things like that all the time, of course he shows me that he sees what I do for him and what I have to do because of the rules from my father, but it is normally not directly related to a concrete situation related to my equipment and the comfort issues related to it.
I am not sure if I got it. Does it mean if you have an emotional problem of your equipment you have to handle it on your own?
Foxies However, my partner does read this forum and if anyone wants to know what her opinions and motivations are in our relationship, she is willing to answer questions.
I do have a few questions for you both, if I may. First up: Hi! I'm Prudence , trans woman who has been posting about a year . I haven't posted much in recent months but I feel a certain kinship with you in that we are both women of a certain age who choose to remain locked by our wives. I'm not quite up there with you, as i'm pushing 50 soon, but I suspect we have certain similarities in generation. You're also a little bit of an inspiration, as I expect to spend the rest of my life in my belt and it's good to know that it still can be done later in life.
I'm curious to learn more about how you first applied the belt to your relationship. You mention you learned about it from one of her books, which tells me that in some way, your wife knew a little bit about belts going into this. So this question is for your wife: Did you have a pre-existing interest, and how did you come around to Foxies' way of thinking?
Also for your spouse, because I think this is useful for my own marriage as well to understand better: Is it hard to take up that responsibility if you're not already naturally the kind of person to do it? Plenty of dominant people would happily belt their wife, but you sound like this is not really specifically your thing. And it can definitely get complicated when your spouse isn't always happy with their locked state. (None of us are 100 percent happy with the belt all the time -- if we were, it wouldn't have to be locked!) How do you mentally manage the challenges?
Does the belt impact other avenues of your relationship? My marriage is spousal-led and the belt represents among other things my acceptance of my wife's authority over me, but I recognize that this is not the same for all.
And lastly, both for you and your spouse: is your belting something you give to your spouse and your spouse alone, or are you committed to the belt either way? Do you have any intention or plans for remaining locked in the event something happens to her?
Thanks .
(Sorry for lengthy reply. Ines, - you have another cheap novel to read )
This is Foxies partner writing on her account. If the moderators don’t like this – let me know and I will stop writing. We just use this one email account for non-vanilla business so I do not want to open another account.
First – we are not married though have been together over 35 years. I do lead our relationship but it is more like Captain and First Mate than D/s. I enjoy fiction writing and about 12 years ago I wrote a romantic F-F novel that had D/s elements. When I was writing the story, I came across a picture of a Neosteel belt in a magazine. I had never believed such items existed for real and was quite surprised. It looked erotic and I used the idea as part of a plot line where one of my characters voluntarily wore it as a symbol of love by giving her most precious possession to her partner.
It was just fiction and honestly, I thought it was silly. Foxies didn’t. It struck a chord with her and she wanted to wear one for me. I thought it was a ludicrous idea. I was a nurse and thought the hygiene and discomfort issues would be insurmountable. We argued for five years until finally I gave in thinking it would be a nine-day wonder. I even made it hard for her when she was “training”, as people here call it. I made do every bathroom visit in it and she had to show me that she could stay clean. She persevered, though I would always unlock her every night (and still do) when we showered together.
It was hard for me to take up the responsibility, especially because I immediately became responsible for her care and safety. Some people here, think it is a form of bondage. I would agree. It binds us very tightly together and she is never out of my mind. However, after twenty years we had been taking each other for granted. With the belt, that changed massively and its impossible to say how much it changed our relationship for the better. It emphasizes how we both have to keep each other satisfied and happy. She gave up an incredible freedom for me. Words can’t express how much it means to me and how much I love and care for her.
Since I hold her keys on a chain around my neck, I suppose it does emphasize our relationship and her acceptance of my authority. However, I would unlock her immediately if she were unhappy and the unlocking would restore her happiness. If anything happens to either of us, the belt will not be needed and thus will be discarded.
Foxies thanks for the detailed response! I don’t mind long replies; if you read much more of me you’ll know that I never use one paragraph where four will do .
And thank you for taking such good care of Foxies. It’s very special to have someone who will supervise your belting with the proper love and attention. I feel fortunate to have my wife, just as Foxies is lucky to have you.
Joh Does it mean if you have an emotional problem of your equipment you have to handle it on your own?
No, of course not. If I have an emotional problem with my equipment, he hugs and cuddles me as I need it and we talk about why this is necessary and useful, but yes, even if it is not strictly forbidden, he appreciates when I don't ask or beg for a release, even in those situations. It doesn't happen anyway.
Saintprudence It’s very special to have someone who will supervise your belting with the proper love and attention
I couldn't have said it better. Even if it is strict it's very, very, very beautiful when you known, see and feel that it is done out of love for you.