Angelina , if my wife would ask me about it, i would ask back why she does not trust me anymore
Would she be able to make you understand it is not related to mistrust(if it's not the case)?
Sara2001 it has nothing to do with mistrust.
I agree,there can be many reasons for it.
Angelina camryn once asked me if i would consider it a gift if she continued to wear the belt after the wedding
Pretty sweet to suggest it,not knowing if you would like it.
Vanessa Would she be able to make you understand it is not related to mistrust(if it's not the case)?
she knows that it would be the only reason for me to wear a belt again after the wedding. she knows my feelings about the belt
Vanessa Pretty sweet to suggest it,not knowing if you would like it.
i have also told her that she can of course wear the belt and i would be willing to take on the role of key holder, but if she does then she should do it for herself and not for me, it is a sweet gesture but not necessary for me
Angelina she knows that it would be the only reason for me to wear a belt again after the wedding. she knows my feelings about the belt
And in this case,you would accept it?
Angelina i have also told her that she can of course wear the belt and i would be willing to take on the role of key holder, but if she does then she should do it for herself and not for me, it is a sweet gesture but not necessary for me
Of course,it should be willingly,and only if she likes it.
Vanessa But you would wear the belt after the mistrust is removed by the talks?
well, i think if the distrust is so severe that i agree to wear the belt it will take several conversations over a longer period of time and during that time i would wear the belt. after that, when the trust is back, of course not anymore
We weren't even aware of this thread until the most recent posts..
However, my partner does read this forum and if anyone wants to know what her opinions and motivations are in our relationship, she is willing to answer questions.
Sara2001
Sorry, I found this post now and I am refering to
Sara2001 Daniel gave me this answer (translated by me, I hope we understood it right, it's about what is done when I get angry):
No disrespect and no disobedience are two of the most important rules in our relationship. She knows when she rebells against her equipment, she will get punished for this. She has a space to discuss her thoughts about her belt, bra and tightbands in a calm and respectful way during her weekly maintenance, outside of this meeting I expect her to never argue against the belt or show any sign of resistance. The 2 corner times every day help her a lot to avoid lapses, the knowledge that the punishment will nothing she can enjoy does the rest. So she shows how hard it is for her from time to time but she never act up. There is nothing like a pause from our rules.
And thisSara2001 I have learned that emotional support doesn't need an argument about the device to happen. I can always say that I feel very limited or restricted. Or that this or that is not easy in my equipment. But I must begin with something like "Of course I understand why this is necessary and I don't want to change your decision but..." or "I of course understand why this is necessary but...". Of course it must not only be a phrase but he has to believe me, so it has to be honest.
Joh Of course I get hugs and things like that all the time, of course he shows me that he sees what I do for him and what I have to do because of the rules from my father, but it is normally not directly related to a concrete situation related to my equipment and the comfort issues related to it.
