- Edited
such a quick update
the second weekend is done, camryn wore the belt for another 48 hours and we took the opportunity to talk about the whole topic again. I have known for a few months that camryn often felt guilty when she masturbated, but unfortunately the rules were set by my father at the time, camryn now wants to take the opportunity to be in control to give up control (I hope you understand what I mean) .
we then talked a lot about how camryn feels while masturbating. she says that she hadn't really enjoyed masturbating in the last few months, she told me that she actually only did it to satisfy her sexual instinct. means that she masturbated because the body said so.
Well, the subject of mastubation will be something that we will talk about a few more times until mid-August (i.e. until the end of our contract). because it is also clear that if camryn decides to wear the belt all the time, she should know what she is doing. it can be very hard and very difficult and it could also mean tension for our relationship. of course I have to agree to that too. if i am of the opinion that camryn is not ready yet i will not take the key. camryn sometimes makes gut decisions while I tend to plan. therefore, my assessment of long-term things (and that includes the permanent wearing of a chastity belt) is very important. I still don't know if I would be a good key holder. I hate my own belt and want to get out, but on the other hand I have to be a strict key holder who has to say no. that will only go with a contract that clarifies all the details.
We also talked about one-sided sex. i think if camryn hadn't had a belt from the start, she would no longer be a virgin today, it would definitely have happened at some point. but now we already have the belt and camryn had a lot of time to think about it. I think the way we currently manage it can work well until the wedding, because the question is of course whether she will have good memories of her first sex in the long term. I don't want her to tell me in a few years' time that we should have waited because she didn't think it was good to have this experience with me, or that she has any feelings of guilt. it would change something in our status if we had sex now. then camryn would no longer be a virgin but i would still be a virgin.
Difficult conversations and please excuse my little "soul striptease" I hope I understand what I am writing if not ask me