markules I am self-locked, which is why I am making up my own rules in the first place.
Any update on your situation?
Male keyholder
youdontknowme There is very little I have to report. I wear the cage more often in order to get used to it. Right now I found a trick to increase the security of a non-metal dilator: I heated the ending of the tube which contains the metal ending. The silicone then constricts due to the heat. After that it's way more difficult to pull out the tube. Of course that end must have a screw thread which it molds into. Now I feel safe wearing it 
I have ordered a new cage, a much smaller one with a metal dilator, but very unfortunately I can pull out of that one too.
What do you think of this solution: www.aliexpress.com/item/1005001436088615.html
I can pull out the 45mm ring, but the 40mm ring disturbs the blood flow. I haven't found a good cage with a 43mm ring yet 
I'll need to extend the dilator so I cannot pull out.
Pertaining my father we agreed that I can take as long as I need and then put the key into an envelope and write the date when I want to have it back. Also, I showed him my light green box where I keep my vibrator and the keys for my cages.
In an emergency one parent should know where the keys are.
I proposed today that I should get a 3D-printed ring, he agreed. So I'll need to learn blender 
- The name of the company is Alma Seals
- Menonites.
- Not that I actually know of, no.
- I don't really know. Maybe yes, maybe no. They are popular enough I think because my dad once got a seal from another parent in our community when they had none left for my cage
- Maybe I would be able to accept it a little bit more, yes. The best solution would be to not be locked at all.
- Wearing pads, doing several methods to provoke an ejaculation I found on the Internet
- Once a week for me to shower
- Yes, we have a doctor in our community who knows about chastity devices and I go there for regulär examination. My sister goes to a gynecologist somewhere else regularly but she gets unlocked before going there.
- . I don't know, probably kick me out and cut all family ties.
- It's called Lidogalen
- Either by it's name or masturbation preventer.
We broke up because after being with me for years she decided that it wasn't enough that I licked or fingered her everytime she wanted me to so she decided to fuck another guy. After I found out, I broke up with her.
- Would you mind telling me which product exactly you use? They have different seals and I am not sure which to use for a chastity device?
- Would you ever consider prostate milking if you knew your parents would not find out? (I hope I do not go too far with that questions?
- Which tips can you give me for my chastity journey?
- Which lubricant do you use?
Thanks again and stay healthy
- I think these are the seals my parents use.
- My ex girlfriend did it from time to time when we found out that it would stop me leaking for a couple of days
- I don't think I can give you any tips other than "Don't do it"
- I don't know, some cheap, water based one that can be evaporated by using a hairdryer on the cage so I can't pull out after the lube was used to put the cage back on.
Hey @Lukas!
I understand that you hate chastity, I would hate it too if I was in your situation. In my case I feel comfortable wearing a chastity device, it makes me masturbate less, I am happier and also I believe I have more testosterone as my testicles are constantly stimulated. I have an enormous amount of trust to my parents. They would never abuse their power. I trust them that they will be very discreet and give me all the time I need.
I perfectly understand that you give me the tip "Don't do it", but I have decided to try it and to cut down on masturbation. It takes a lot of time and it does nothing for me
markules Yeah, I feel like trust is perhaps the most important thing in a wearer/keyholder relationship when it comes to the wearer's acceptance. If the chastity measures are enacted without the wearer's consent, not only is that legally and morally quite questionable, it is completely understandable why the wearer would resent their device, and how insisting the device might strain the relationship. Of course that does not extend to releasing the wearer whenever they feel like it, but the chaste-keeping must happen in boundaries agreed upon before the lock gets shut, in a state where the wearer's mind is not compromised by arousal or intimidation alike. Of course incentives, both positive and negative, are allowed from the keyholder's side, but especially in the case of negative incentives ("if you refuse, X will happen"), the boundary between guidance and intimidation can be a tricky one.
Obviously a chastity relationship that was never based on real, agreed-upon consent in the first place, like in Lukas's case where the parents just decided that there would be no self-pleasure under their roof, is unlikely to result in a happy wearer. Nate got lucky that, while it started forced, it seems to have developed into an arrangement he could agree with.
As for myself, the persons I trust are all people I would rather not in my sex life, so I stay my own keyholder for now. Still, I feel like there is some sort of internal keyholder relationship because my conscious, intellectual self is trying to keep penis access away from my more primal, horny self. Not so much of an interpersonal relationship though, which skips those trust negotiations.
markules It takes a lot of time and it does nothing for me
Does it really save you time? Because from my experience, not being able to get off just makes the arousal (and its corresponding distraction) last longer.
- Edited
youdontknowme l, I feel like there is some sort of internal keyholder relationship because my conscious, intellectual self is trying to keep penis access away from my more primal, horny self.
Yeah, I kinda understand this. It's interesting to split into three and watch the other two duke it out. Horny-self is at an intellectual disadvantage, but has a much deeper connection to the body. Like water he moves to find any weakness in all plans to contain him.
Jonas Yeah, your explanations of your wife and the two souls within your chest (as Goethe put it) holding a vote on your chastity kinda helped me put that into words.
I prefer to move such games out of me and into a lock or another person. The aim is, after all, to at least try to avoid playing with myself. 
Jonas Nice punning game, but personally, I identify a lot with the pre-rejuvenation Faust character, so describing the struggle between instinct and consciousness as two souls feels very right to me.
Also, I hate to think of the person I call myself as the beast instead of the spirit.
Lukas We broke up because after being with me for years she decided that it wasn't enough that I licked or fingered her everytime she wanted me to so she decided to fuck another guy. After I found out, I broke up with her.
this is very hard for me to bear. i can understand that it was not an easy situation, but cheating on you is absolutely unacceptable. she should have talked to you beforehand and said that it was not enough for her.
what is the current situation with your sister? she had her first orgasm if i remember correctly because she doesn't have to wear the belt at school (she is a bit younger than you right?) has something changed with her?
Lukas We broke up because after being with me for years she decided that it wasn't enough that I licked or fingered her everytime she wanted me to so she decided to fuck another guy. After I found out, I broke up with her.
It is not my place to pass judgment on her, that is your prerogative alone, but as for how your cage relates to this, it might have been the reason you could not fulfill her sexual interests, but it has also helped you reveal her as a person who would go behind her significant other's back to get her sexual fix (which, even without the cage, might have happened at a different point in time), and it probably also protected you from engaging in any activities that would have forced you to stay a couple regardless, be it if you had a child from unprotected sex or if you had been caught taking each other's virginity and being forced into a "shotgun wedding" of sorts. As much as the cage gets in the way of your life, in this case it might have helped you dodge a bullet, so there is at least one upside to wearing it.
markules youdontknowme There is very little I have to report.
Sorry, I seem to have forgotten to reply to your status update. It does not matter too much that little has changed, I am curious about anything you might have to report. Not only is your story interesting because I kinda find you relatable, trying to cut down on habitual masturbation without giving up sexual pleasure alltogether, it also forms a counterpoint to the experiences of many other people here. A lot of people around here have some kind of mixed relation with their keyholder - they love them as family members, but they do not love the fact that they hold the keys. The devices are often forced upon the wearer against their will, and some of the demands of the keyholder regarding behavior stretch the definition of reasonable expectations. You are different. Not only do you trust the person who might become your keyholder completely, they are planning to hold the keys without any personal interest, just as a dependable and helpful person. You can be very glad for what you have.
I mean, the same applies to Jonas, but there is still the key difference that Jonas's keyholder is his spouse, so the chastity is an extension of their intimacy as a couple, in a way, whereas while you no doubt have a close and loving relationship with your father, the chastity device is the only part of that relationship which concerns your sexuality.
youdontknowme Hello, thank you for your sincere interest in my situation. Yes, I want to reduce my masturbation and it works very well. When I wear the device I actually no not feel like masturbating, I do not get hornier. Just erections are more fun. Sometimes I think about sex or consume picture material about it and that's enough for me.
I am not forced to wear it, more I want to wear it, however, until I have a secure cage (where I can't pull out) that fits comfortably, I will not give the keys to anyone.
Right now I am experimenting with dilators to stop me from pulling out of the cage. I was able to pull out of every one of the 10+ cages I bought. Unfortunately I have cut both dilators in half because the whole one caused blood in my urine. Now I am used to wearing a dilator so I need to reconnect them using the metal pieces taken from another cage's dilator. The trick of heating the silicone with a lighter works wonders; it shrinks and adapts to the size of the metal part connecting the tubes.
However, I have made a terrible mistake, trying to connect a metal dilator with a silicone one which caused it being too large (in diameter). So it got stuck in my urethra! I had to pull it out by force and now have a bleeding penis But I guess that's just another failure on my chastity journey, I have learned from it.
Yes I am very glad for the relationship with my father. It has taken a lot of work, but I trust him. Yet, I am not sure whether I want to do it at all. I may have gotten cold feet, but I did not tell him that as I didn't want to burn the bridge I built. What is definitely good is that he knows where my keys are for an emergency and he knows that I am sometimes wearing chastity cages. We agreed that IF (a large if, not when) we do it that there is nothing sexual involved. In retrospect although I really felt ashamed for telling him at first, I am glad that I have done it. Further, in the beginning of the same conversation he asked me very gently (which is often difficult for him) if I wore "wearables under wearables". I said yes and stated that I wear sports bras in order to compress my lungs so I can breath more comfortably. Of course I did not deny that there is something sexual involved. It was very embarrassing, so much that I turned white and he had to give me sugar/dextrose. But now that the cat's out of the bag, I decided to talk about my wish to reduce masturbation and how chastity devices would assist in reaching this goal. He then proposed the "envelope idea". I hope this was a good idea to tell him that, but the conversation felt so trustful that I wanted to risk it.
If you have any questions about my situation, please feel free to ask.
markules Right now I am experimenting with dilators to stop me from pulling out of the cage. I was able to pull out of every one of the 10+ cages I bought. Unfortunately I have cut both dilators in half because the whole one caused blood in my urine. Now I am used to wearing a dilator so I need to reconnect them using the metal pieces taken from another cage's dilator. The trick of heating the silicone with a lighter works wonders; it shrinks and adapts to the size of the metal part connecting the tubes.
However, I have made a terrible mistake, trying to connect a metal dilator with a silicone one which caused it being too large (in diameter). So it got stuck in my urethra! I had to pull it out by force and now have a bleeding penis
I do believe several people of us have tried to warn you about putting stuff into your urethra, that stuff can be really unhealthy unless you really know what you are doing. As much as it is not really helpful to say it now, I cannot help but think along the lines of "told you so".
But honestly, I am quite happy for you that you can be so open with your father, that he does his best to understand your desires and help you improve yourself without pushing you more than you ask him to push you. From what you have outlined before, I am sure that he has no objections to the fact that you are keeping the keys to yourself for now. You obviously need to think things through, and to practice wearing a cage. It does not make sense to rush those things, and he will be there for you if and when you need his help. I do not think cold feet are burning any bridges, as nothing you said about him indicates that he expects a final decision at any time, it feels more like he has an idea of what you might ask of him one day and that he wants you to know he is willing to offer his help.
markules We agreed that IF (a large if, not when) we do it that there is nothing sexual involved.
Honestly, anything else would have been weird as hell. Even if it were just kink play with no actual intercourse involved, father-son incest would just be... no, just no. Probably still a good idea to make that clear when talking about genital restraints that are frequently sold as sex toys, but that something going on between a father and son is not a sex thing should really go without saying.
youdontknowme I do believe several people of us have tried to warn you about putting stuff into your urethra, that stuff can be really unhealthy unless you really know what you are doing. As much as it is not really helpful to say it now, I cannot help but think along the lines of "told you so".
Yes, I acknowledge my own fault
youdontknowme Honestly, anything else would have been weird as hell. Even if it were just kink play with no actual intercourse involved, father-son incest would just be... no, just no. Probably still a good idea to make that clear when talking about genital restraints that are frequently sold as sex toys, but that something going on between a father and son is not a sex thing should really go without saying.
Yes, I completely agree with you, but I wanted to make it absolutely clear that this is not some kind of weird kink