im gonna just get right to it pretty much i asked her a bunch of times today and we ended up having like a 2 and a half hour talk straight about this and she evn called my dad during it. my situation is a bit more than i imagined BUT as of rn idk 100% if im wearing one or not but i know now that they are going to make an acccomadation with my sisters that if they want to live here rent free off my parents they need to wear a belt too. and my sister isnt allowed to have these dudes over anymore. regarding me though my mom says she wants me to use one and that it would keep me safe and stop me from even having any chance of making those mistakes even if she believes that i wont. i still really dont know why they ar epushing it for me to use it abunch but she said wed talk more tonight after work. she seems kinda okay with working something out i feel so ill just see what i can do ty everyone for ur support and ill post again soon as ik whats going on <3

    Laura
    yeah i only said that because like in my entire life my parents have always kind of held the "do what u want when ur 18" thing over our heads so i just assumed that was the case because my sisters get away with alot more than me BUTT it isnt the case ofc! as i posted about like 2 seconds ago they are gonna be using belts too

        vyktoryah I had a feeling it might play out like this, which is why I said what I said. How have your sisters reacted to the news?

        Also, do your mom or dad always stay at home?

            MaximeJourennes ill definitely try my best to remember that because i know if they didnt care they wouldnt even be bothering with this and theyd just kick my sisters out. but they are really trying to make our lives different and they may not be the best but them trying is enough for me to respect them cuz IK being a parent definitely isnt easy lol theres no book or whatever to it andevery kid is different

                James both my parents work all day unfortunately. my mom left late this morning but she usually leaves at about 8am and getsd back at like 6 pm and my dad leaves at 5am and gets back same time as my mom usually

                    vyktoryah Being working class parents is never easy, for sure. I am very curious how your sisters will take this news. Did your conversation discuss their 'extreme' issues and their trouble with discipline and consistency?

                        James me too i definitely wonder how they will handle it as far as i know right now only i know about this happening. my mom though said its not really my business to know the specifics but she did say that they would not have a place to live if they dont make major changes.

                            vyktoryah I'd honestly call and tell her, or call your dad and tell him it is your right to know the specifics - you won't tell your sisters if they don't want that - but you've not made the mistakes they have, nor have you agreed to this. So, like, spill.

                            My general opinion really remains if they are going to do this, what are all these other rules (and don't get me wrong, rules are helpful, especially if you want to go to college debt free) they want to have?

                            It's hard to say 'trust them' when they are what, 10 years short and 4 toddlers too late? Saying 'making major changes' is a nice phrase, but somewhat lacking in 'how'. Basic parenting here...It totally seems like they are making this up as they go along.

                            This I guess is where you get to truly decide. Because you can always just refuse like Jen said, but Jen didn't have to live with the chaos you do. Or you can say, "OK, you don't know what you're doing - I know you have no true plans, so do you - and so I will agree to this if I get to help shape this so it's good for me, and good for the family."

                                James i feel like youre onto something with the making this up as they go. not necessarily making it up but i think my mom and dad havent actually set their mind yet on what is 100% happening and my mom keeps telling me bits and pieces of it so its just all messed up rn but i agree i wana know the specifics bc this definitely involves me too. i dont think they have no idea what they are doing i think they just have bad communication skills is all. they tried to prevent my sisters from doing this and when i was younger i took money bribes to not tell my parents they had people over bc i just really didnt know the lengths to which it was going and how bad things would get. so its partly my fault too i guess
                                my mom was also late for work when we were talking this morning though so im sure she will explain more tonight but i can still call her if you feel i should

                                    vyktoryah I think you might as well call her - it'll be easier to get facts out of her now, in exchange to offering not to warn both your sisters. It also gives you time to decide what your response will be.

                                    To explain the 'no idea what they are doing' - I mean they don't know how discipline actually works. Sure, they seem to have some thoughts about some plan, but you cannot simple tell someone, do advanced algebra OR ELSE and expect them not to fail. Discipline and punishment are not the same thing. So, really, I know it's tough but they need to accept and learn how to make strategies that work. Because lets also be real - they'll feel bound to adopt their grandkids if your sisters don't get their lives in some order. And if they don't adopt, your sisters have no real idea how to raise them firmly either, I'd have to guess.

                                    I've seen it. It's not pretty. Happened to a cousin - did drugs to beat of the depression, she eventually abandoned the kids, lived on streets, my aunt saw her while begging once and now she lies in a grave. Dramatic situation, but it happens, especially with opioids in the US.

                                    ...and well yes, taking bribes is bad, but they were older and knew better. And frankly your mom and dad lost any excuses at kid #1.

                                        vyktoryah I have a different take to many of the people here, but I am of the opinion that locking BDSM devices on children (willingly or not) is child abuse. It is not okay for your parents to do this, they are making poor parenting decisions that can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health.

                                        Any type of bribery or coercion is strictly illegal. For example, "We will buy you a car" or "You have to wear it or you won't go to college" or "We will kick you out"... all illegal.

                                        Trying to hide metal bondage equipment in public is not something a child should have to endure, and being "outed" could lead to all sorts of legal ramifications for your family. Pennsylvania has mandatory reporting.

                                        Be clear to your parents that what they are proposing is not okay. You hold all the aces in this situation and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

                                        If you have any doubts, call 1-800-932-0313 and speak to a professional. They are there to help.

                                            Sin Any type of bribery or coercion is strictly illegal. For example, "We will buy you a car" or "You have to wear it or you won't go to college" or "We will kick you out"... all illegal.

                                            Agree, and however it is not ethical.

                                              Sin its like i said though i kind of have too many good things going for me right now to bring the law into this. my mother pays for the internet for pretty much me alone bc we have unlimited data for phone plans, the internet isnt really necessary for anyone but me. she just knows its basically my life and wants me to not be in constant agony all day with having nothing to do or whatever. and i also get an allowance which i pay my final fantasy 14 subscription with and my music app too. i feel that would all go away if i brogut the law into this and if the law decided i shouldnt live here then id end up in some place IDEK and that scares me. i dont have any close relatives in my state bc my parents are from texas
                                              but i dont intend on just being forced into this or whatever she does seem willing to work stuff out with me which ill be calling her here shortly

                                              • Sin replied to this.

                                                  James im gonna give her a call pretty soon then. ill post about how it goes ty for everyones replies tho

                                                    vyktoryah neither have belts and both have 1 child, my 23 year old sister is named cari and she has a 4 year old boy named josh. and my 19 year old sister is libby and has a i think 2? year old girl and is pregnant with another

                                                    If I was your parent, I would start with the 23 y.o. and belt her instantly. I couldn't do it with the 19 y.o, because she is pregnant now, hence later on. I wouldn't belt you now if you promised to remain virgin.

                                                        work keeps disrupting our call so she had to go but i did get a bit of info now. i still dont know my situation for myself but i know a little more regarding my sisters. they no longer have locks on their doors starting tomorrow and they have to share locations with my parents on the iphone messenger. they also arent allowed to have anyone over and they need to start saving money to move out and they have to do almost all the chores except for the one i have and they are gonna be SUPPOSEDLY making dinner every night too. that last one IDK about lol but we'll see. they are apparently being given a certain amount of time to show that they are gona do those things or they are just gonna be kicked out. the belts were apparently my fathers idea and someone here has mentioned that belting a pregnant woman raises difficulties so i definitely am curious how they are going about that. as for me i still dont really know i tried to ask but when we got to that area she just had a lot to say and it didnt really get anywhere becasue after she finally was done explaining how she feels she hadto go back to work so we just are gonna talk more tonight. im gonna probably plan some more about what to say bc i TBH dont wana be belted too but she definitely seems willing to work something out i think i just dont know what it is. shes always kinda lenient with me when we finally talk stuff through so ill let everyone know asap

                                                          vyktoryah Yeah, more or less sums with thoughts, but nice to see she's open about it. Definitely the 'we're belting you and you've these tasks but have no idea how you'll do them', approach (bound to fail, probably).

                                                          Also, do they plan on kicking out the grandkids with their daughters?

                                                          I guess my question for you is what do you want to do? Because you're in a critical 2-3 year period where you play your cards right and you can get a top collage scholarship etc. But that takes work and it would be nice to have some actual parental support for that to keep you focused.

                                                              James idk if they do plan on that though i think thats more of a threat im not sure.. i really dont see them to be the type to actually put kids on the streeet and if they were they would have by now because one of my sisters is really unstable. but i honestly have plans on moving in with someone ive been super close with for the past like 3 years. and we were just gonna pay for ahouse together and split the costs with just a normal job or whatever. im not that smart really and i have bad adhd so school has always been a mess for me lol. so im really just waiting until im legally able to leave which i beleve is actually 16 but i also dont have my info atm. like i need my social security card because when we moved i think my parents left all that stuff at the old house on accident so now im trying to file for a new one but its been pretty hard with all the requirements and stuff. so i pretty much just gotta make it till then which shoul donly be like a year at most i think then im on my own with the like one person im really close with.