Accidentally flashing chastity equipment in public

Joh

Angelina I think at the latest when @Sara2001 lives together with her boyfriend in her own house/flat then there will be changes because then they will no longer be influenced by anyone in one direction or the other, at the moment it seems to me more like a test phase.

It will be when he is her husband and not before. 😉
And I agree. Than they are free to decide mostly on themselves. A rest of influence always exist. They live not alone on an island.

Sara2001

Joh And I agree. Than they are free to decide mostly on themselves. A rest of influence always exist. They live not alone on an island.

I think we are already far beyond the suggestions of our parents. My father often says that he thinks that my rules are very strict and that we should be careful that it's really working for us like this 😃 But basically you are right. I am sure a lot of things will change this August. In the first few months we will definitely find out what truly works for us in the long run and then there will be more changes over time with more experiences or changed opinions.

Angelina

Joh It will be when he is her husband and not before. 😉

I'm not 100% sure,but @Sara2001 will probably be happy to tell us if anything changes in the living situation before the wedding. 😉

Sara2001 My father often says that he thinks that my rules are very strict and that we should be careful that it's really working for us like this 😃

if even your father says that, then you really do have a very strict lifestyle. 😮

Sara2001 I am sure a lot of things will change this August.

moving date or wedding date? 😉

Megan

Abby82 cant rly swim now because of ice etc, maybe again in june😃

It's a blizzard in Texas climate change 😄

Angelina I think at the latest when @Sara2001 lives together with her boyfriend in her own house/flat then there will be changes because then they will no longer be influenced by anyone in one direction or the other, at the moment it seems to me more like a test phase.

Sara2001 think we are already far beyond the suggestions of our parents. My father often says that he thinks that my rules are very strict and that we should be careful that it's really working for us like this 😃 But basically you are right. I am sure a lot of things will change this August. In the first few months we will definitely find out what truly works for us in the long run and then there will be more changes over time with more experiences or changed opinions.

I agree and Daniel is probably a wonderful man 😃 I am just concerned because we are on the internet and the internet has bdsm themes

Sara2001

Megan I agree and Daniel is probably a wonderful man 😃 I am just concerned because we are on the internet and the internet has bdsm themes

We are absolutely not in BDSM. We think it's a play thing.

Angelina moving date or wedding date?

It's the same 🙂

Angelina if even your father says that, then you really do have a very strict lifestyle. 😮

I already said this. My rules are always the strictest to reduce any possible conflict at the beginning.

Angelina

Sara2001 It's the same 🙂

I hope your wedding will be everything you imagined, I am very happy for you. 🙂

Sara2001 My rules are always the strictest to reduce any possible conflict at the beginning.

i am still amazed that it worked out that way. i always thought that it would create more conflict, but talking clearly helps a lot.

Joh

Sara2001 We think it's a play thing.

Wow. To name it play thing is an understatement, in my opinion 😉
Nevertheless you like it, do it.

Sara2001

Angelina i am still amazed that it worked out that way. i always thought that it would create more conflict, but talking clearly helps a lot.

This is something you can't stress enough. If anyone ever thinks about entering a relationship with one partner who is the leader and another partner who is submitting to the other, talking is the key to happiness and success. Talking, talking, talking and reflection of what you two doo. And of course both need to feel that the other one has your long term goals and happiness as his first priority. Only when this is given, it can be healthy.

Jen

Sara2001 talking is the key to happiness and success.

And hopefully even finding a solution to go to for a swim

Angelina

Sara2001 And of course both need to feel that the other one has your long term goals and happiness as his first priority

that is the most important thing, of course. however, i would never say that it reduces conflicts, but rather that it ensures that the conflicts become more solution-oriented, i.e. that it is worth entering into this conflict (of course objectively and with respect for the opinion of the other person).

But I think that's a bit small-minded from me now.

Sara2001

Joh Wow. To name it play thing is an understatement, in my opinion 😉
Nevertheless you like it, do it.

We don't like to play with leadership and submission but we decided for true and real leadership based on love, honesty and trust and submission based on the same values.

Jen And hopefully even finding a solution to go to for a swim

We will see, I don't think it's very likely and it's not that extremely important for me.

Angelina that is the most important thing, of course. however, i would never say that it reduces conflicts, but rather that it ensures that the conflicts become more solution-oriented, i.e. that it is worth entering into this conflict (of course objectively and with respect for the opinion of the other person).

We think and made the experience that it's also possible to exchange opinions and to find a solution that is working for both of us without having a conflict. For us the key was to know the other ones points of view and of course it helps a lot that we have implemented the rule that he has to take care of my long term goals and happiness as the top priority while I have to take care of his short term wishes as the top priority. This way we have almost no conflicts and always a clear strategy how to solve them.

Joh

Sara2001 We don't like to play with leadership and submission but we decided for true and real leadership based on love, honesty and trust and submission based on the same values.

Here you write it by yourself. It is no play.

Angelina

Sara2001

i'm almost jealous because it all sounds so well planned. you've managed to sort out pretty much everything without any major conflicts. i like planning too, but that's really impressive, but apparently also necessary for the kind of relationship you have. 🙂

Joh

sorry but at this point I agree with @Sara2001, for me BDSM is a game in the bedroom but not a real lifestyle.

Sara2001

Joh Here you write it by yourself. It is no play.

Yes and therefore it's not BDSM. BDSM is a sex game.

Joh

Sara2001 Yes and therefore it's not BDSM. BDSM is a sex game.

I agree and I didn't mention BDSM.
BDSM is also a lifestyle and not just a game. It is a name for a kind of relationship. What it ultimately is depends on the people involved.

LoonyMel

Sara2001

BDSM is not a simple sex game. It can be a serious kind of relationship and it must not be disregarded as a play thing or a simple sexual act.
It can be also a relationship with different roles and behaviors.

Yes, there are people who do it as a simple sexual act which ends, but there are people who live it with the same commitment that people here invest in chastity.

Joh

Angelina sorry but at this point I agree with @Sara2001, for me BDSM is a game in the bedroom but not a real lifestyle.

You are free to see as you like. Nevertheless some couples live it and not only in the bed room.

Angelina

Joh Nevertheless some couples live it and not only in the bed room.

well i'm not 100% averse to playing bdsm, in particular the b intrigues me to a point but it's not something i would do outside of my room

Joh

Angelina in particular the b intrigues me to a point but it's not something i would do outside of my room

If B is was you would like to try out you can do it outside of your room. Shibari has some body harness you can wear under your clothes nobody will see it if you cover it properly.

Angelina

Joh

i don't want to try it outside my room therefore it is a game in the bedroom for me and that's where it will stay. 😉

Angelina

LoonyMel It can be also a relationship with different roles and behaviors.

but then isn't that exactly the kind of relationship @Sara2001 has herself? i don't think she would describe it as a BDSM relationship.

Sara2001

LoonyMel BDSM is not a simple sex game. It can be a serious kind of relationship and it must not be disregarded as a play thing or a simple sexual act.

I thought it's called D/s or DD or TiH or TPE or something like this when it goes beyond sex play and become a 24/7 thing.

LoonyMel why stigmatize BDSM lifestyle so much?

I don't want to stigmatize this lifestyle, I just think/thought that when it becomes a 24/7 thing, it's more then BDSM. We would never even think about calling our relationship a BDSM relationship, but if anyone wants to call her/his lifestyle BDSM, that's perfectly fine for me, but I have no idea how the dynamic is working by this name. That's why from my experience other names are used like the names I mentioned above.

I think an important aspect is the question if pain is directly used to make it more sexy or to enforce the rules.

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