Angelina that would be interesting, but does it only apply to muslims (I'm just asking out of curiosity)?

I would imagine kuffar's words are less trusted in the circles that pay a lot of attention to those traditional customs. Similarly,

Angelina do only muslim gynaecologists do this? i have never read about it from german ones.

I would not expect doctors with more western values being too keen on providing such services.

Avery Wake up, this is a completely different culture.

Angelina for what reason?

There is probably some merit to the whole "different culture" discussion, but how much is probably not something to which there is a one-size-fits-all answer. It is true that western civilization places a heavier emphasis on "the newlywed couple will start a new life of their own" aspect than some other cultures in the world, so I would not consider it unreasonable for parents to play a big role in the couple's life. But "different culture" only excuses so much, as plenty of atrocities and self-destructive behavior have been defended as tradition in the past.

            youdontknowme But "different culture" only excuses so much

            Completely agree, but saying rotten things about her future husband, and I realize YOU didn't post what I objected to, because he follows the culture he grew up in is not productive, I don't think.

                Avery I think it can be seen as a side effect of the discussion getting rather heated. Personally, I feel like not letting the newlyweds breed like rabbits while there are still family functions to attend is one of the mildest values dissonances in this topic, compared to stuff like regular hymen inspections and a cultural norm of female submission, both of which I find highly objectionable if not based on freely-given consent. To point out that feels like the straw that broke the camel's back after it had been loaded with boulders already.

                    youdontknowme compared to stuff like regular hymen inspections and a cultural norm of female submission, both of which I find highly objectionable

                    Yup.

                      Angelina that would be interesting, but does it only apply to muslims (I'm just asking out of curiosity)?

                      Don't give parents such a crazy idea.

                          Avery Wake up, this is a completely different culture. We have at least one person here that is over 30 and has been locked up by parents for more than ten years. Do you want to editorialize on that? I'll bet they have a happy life.

                          Yes, it is another culture. Nevertheless if you do something do it right.
                          From @ZeynepFox posting her future husband will lead their relation including sometime spanking for her for her development.
                          They live in Germany and they respect and following the German law.
                          As an adult you make your own decision and nobody has the right to do so for you without your consent.
                          If, as a young adult, you are aware that you do not know everything and that you also have less experience, this shows maturity. Therefore, when it comes to important questions, it is good to get opinions and advice from others who know more or have more experience. One way is to ask your parents. In the end, however, you decide for yourself and stand by it.

                          If her mother-in-law insist to have the key at her wedding and to keep it against his will than he shows he is not the leader of his own family. Apart from that, it is against the law to use $240 StGB (coercion).

                          If he agrees than his mother should ask herself what she did wrong with her education of her son that he is not able to fulfil his duty or can't handle his wife.

                              Joh and to keep it against his will

                              If I understand right, it's not against his will

                              • Joh replied to this.

                                  Laura If I understand right, it's not against his will

                                  ZeynepFox his mother may want to observe and supervise the amount of sex we have

                                  I can't find any information that he agree to it either.

                                        Joh He agrees to let his mother hold his bride's keys. Why it should be different?

                                        • Joh replied to this.

                                            Joh Because they are not married.

                                            If he is mature and responsible he will not have sex with her before marriage.
                                            I can understand if her parents require her to wear a chastity belt.
                                            But in this particular case his mother requires it, that means she doesn't trust him

                                                Laura It's probably forbidden

                                                I don't know, I guess I could have it done if I really wanted to, but there is no medical necessity from my point of view.

                                                Christine Don't give parents such a crazy idea.

                                                i didn't do that. it's more about when, for example, german women want to have a "virginity certificate", in my opinion the parents are left out.

                                                      Laura But in this particular case his mother requires it, that means she doesn't trust him

                                                      This is one way to see it.
                                                      Another way is she doesn't trust her or she will be sure nothing can happen like rape.

                                                          Joh she will be sure nothing can happen like rape.

                                                          Can she rape him? 🤣

                                                          • Joh replied to this.

                                                              Laura Yes, it is possible. It's not often but already done.
                                                              But she herself could also be raped by someone before she is married.

                                                                  Angelina but after the wedding, no one but the two of you will be interested

                                                                  Both could be interested if explained the advantage.

                                                                  Angelina sex life is something very special and intimate

                                                                  That's exactly the reason, and they should wait at least until night.

                                                                  Laura But in this particular case his mother requires it, that means she doesn't trust him

                                                                  No, it's because her parents are irresponsible. She will have to present that certificate right before marriage as a proof she didn't sleep with him yet. Otherwise it would be the shame for both families and other negative consequences.

                                                                  Joh Another way is she doesn't trust her or she will be sure nothing can happen like rape.

                                                                  Not rape, but seduction.

                                                                            HHelen No, it's because her parents are irresponsible.

                                                                            And just how did you arrive at that conclusion?

                                                                                Avery And just how did you arrive at that conclusion?

                                                                                Because they had to take care about their daughter's virginity, rather than his parents.