Punishment for improper dressing

Megan You don't have to push it that far if you don't want to.
Guys will know you are a woman if you wear the entire pant and then you might be more comfortable.
It's just up to how you feel you don't need to just barely get approved by your parents

I'm not concerned with guys knowing I'm a woman, as you put it. I want to wear the smallest bikini I can get to stay on me. That's what I want, that's what the girls I hang with do. But I'm not going to defy my Dad, or change into something more revealing after I leave the house, like some girls do. Therefore I want to pass Dad's inspection.

Angelina you should not only do this for your father, but also for yourself. you are a woman as a whole, no one should reduce you to just your body, you can also be pretty without being slutty

I do understand what you mean @Angelina but among my friends we consider being slutty as being how you act. Of course there are places, like the classroom, or just walking down the street, where one must dress appropriately. The only bone of contention with my Dad is the beachwear and just the issue of how much I'm showing of my bottom.

Angelina that's really an interesting idea. just say "i'm not crazy i'm a hippster"

I wonder if one could wear the belt outside some tight pants, maybe to a party or something, as a fashion statement. That would really be announcing one's commitment to the world.

Jen Would you worry - being all over insta?

No. I'd be fully dressed.

Jen Also I'm thinking like a toy belt is one thing but mine is bloody expensive - like if people find out the cost it's not just a fashion statement any more

Mine was a few hundred, also from Australia. You know nothing of fashion if you think what we wear here is considered expensive.

Jen Yeah nah not me!

Has anyone asked you to do it? Mine is not so snug since I am not totally trying to block access.

Avery You know nothing of fashion if you think what we wear here is considered expensive.

Not comparing to 'fashion' - next to what I or my friends wear it's expensive.

Avery Has anyone asked you to do it?

Nope just thinking about your comments

Jen Not comparing to 'fashion' - next to what I or my friends wear it's expensive.

I didn't mind the price so much because I'm concerned about safety, more than anything. Plus I wear it everyday and I don't think they ever wear out. Or maybe there are reasons one would have to replace them that I am not aware of.

Avery Or maybe there are reasons one would have to replace them that I am not aware of.

Some have problems with the lining and have tried to replace it adequately.

Avery but among my friends we consider being slutty as being how you act.

how so? how do I behave?
I see what you mean, I just think that your body should have some value for you. you can show yourself sexy to anyone who is worth it, but really only to those who are worth it

Avery I wonder if one could wear the belt outside some tight pants, maybe to a party or something, as a fashion statement.

i think it depends what kind of party you are going to, i think at certain parties i could show the belt as a fashion item

Angelina how so? how do I behave?

That's just grammar. Possibly sloppy American grammar. You, in my sentence "as being how you act", does not refer to you personally. A better formulation would have been "as being how ONE acts", meaning anyone. I think French has a more useful construction with the use of their word "on". Anyway if someone says "you don't spit into the wind" it doesn't mean YOU don't, it means no one does it.

Angelina I see what you mean, I just think that your body should have some value for you. you can show yourself sexy to anyone who is worth it, but really only to those who are worth it

I have seen German women on the beach in Acadia National Park in Maine in the US without tops on. Does this mean their bodies have no value to them? I think not. Are they trying to be sexy? I think not. They are not doing it to entertain nearby men, tho American men gawk at them. They are, I think, doing it because they want to. I wouldn't do it but I don't make any moral judgements about these women who do because it is a part of their culture, like that English Garden park in München where people lie out naked. Among my friends wearing the smallest bikini you can get to stay on is a part of the culture we are in.

Avery That's just grammar. Possibly sloppy American grammar. You, in my sentence "as being how you act", does not refer to you personally. A better formulation would have been "as being how ONE acts", meaning anyone. I think French has a more useful construction with the use of their word "on". Anyway if someone says "you don't spit into the wind" it doesn't mean YOU don't, it means no one does it.

yes, ok, i know such grammatical mistakes when i write from german into english, i will try to understand things better even if it is difficult.

Avery

if someone really wants to do that, that's ok too, i just sometimes worry that some women show off their bodies too much. unfortunately, i have seen some experiences from my school days and also now during my studies that are not good for women.

Avery This article says the manufacturers of anti-rape underwear are contributing to a blame the victim mentality

indeed, this can happen, that's why i wrote that we should be careful where we show this. these parties should then focus on the garment as such and not on the use of the garment. i also doubt that this anti-rape underwear really works well.

Avery want to wear the smallest bikini I can get to stay on me. That's what I want, that's what the girls I hang with do.

Okay then it is good for you to wear that as long as it is what You want yourself and not your others. Thank you for telling me!

Avery This article says the manufacturers of anti-rape underwear are contributing to a blame the victim mentality.

I heard those people were a scam, it definitely doesn't look comfortable to me I think I would sweat and have quite a smell after a day in such tight yoga pants.
It feels like a LOT of people blame victims because they are lazy and it's just easier for them to imagine someone else at 'fault'

Megan It feels like a LOT of people blame victims because they are lazy and it's just easier for them to imagine someone else at 'fault'

I got some negative feedback when I started wearing my belt after being assaulted. Two people said the rapists were "winning" and I shouldn't be changing the way I live because of them. Of course most of the girls I know avoid walking certain places, especially at night, so wearing a belt seems just a matter of degree.

Avery Two people said the rapists were "winning" and I shouldn't be changing the way I live because of them.

I don't really understand that argument: what exactly would rapists gain from this, if they are 'winning'??
Yes, it would be ideal if you could prevent them from raping you, instead of needing to take action yourself, but as always if you have a problem, the only thing you can change is how you deal with it. You have taken a precaution that prevents it, and makes you feel safer, at no more than moderate discomfort for yourself I would judge (since you only wear it when needed).

carg I don't really understand that argument: what exactly would rapists gain from this, if they are 'winning'??
Yes, it would be ideal if you could prevent them from raping you, instead of needing to take action yourself, but as always if you have a problem, the only thing you can change is how you deal with it. You have taken a precaution that prevents it, and makes you feel safer, at no more than moderate discomfort for yourself I would judge (since you only wear it when needed).

I agree with everything you said. I think this is kind of a feminist argument, that by my changing my lifestyle because of the actions of men I am capitulating to the patriarchy, whereas one should stand their ground, wear whatever you want, go where ever you want when you want, get drunk at a party if you want, else men continue to make the rules and females continue to be subservient. A similar argument might be that by locking your door at night you are ceding power to criminals. They are pulling your strings.

Avery I think this is kind of a feminist argument, that by my changing my lifestyle because of the actions of men I am capitulating to the patriarchy,

i agree with you that this is nonsense, in your case the belt has given you many freedoms that other victims of such an attack no longer have. i don't wish anyone ill but these radical feminists should first get to know your situation before they judge. and no, the rapists didn't win, you did.

Angelina i agree with you that this is nonsense, in your case the belt has given you many freedoms that other victims of such an attack no longer have. i don't wish anyone ill but these radical feminists should first get to know your situation before they judge. and no, the rapists didn't win, you did.

Thank you.

carg But on the other hand, if a woman wants equality, I also expect her to hold the door open for me just as often as I do for her ;-) )

How about forget the whole door thing - like if a guy is behind you and you wouldn't hold the door then don't hold it just because I'm a girl. If I'm at the back of a lift and you're in front just bloody get off don't make me walk past first