I hope to raise my children by helping them to learn to make wise decisions. After all, I won't always be there when decision time arrives. When they are young I will necessarily have to make decisions for them but gradually I'll back off a little and give them more autonomy. Hopefully, we'll always be able to discuss things. As far as rules and punishments are concerned I believe children need a clearly articulated set of rules and need to know that if the rules are broken there will indeed be a consistent set of punishments.

Excellent but, not easy to accomplish.

    bdsamm Excellent but, not easy to accomplish.

    From my experience raising children is the most difficult job there is. I have great respect for the parents who manage to send responsible and sensible adults into the world.

      Joh You should also always be smarter than the children.

      this is true, but not always possible. there are families in which the children are clearly more intelligent than the adults due to higher education etc.

          Angelina
          Don't mix up intelligence and education.
          For example my grandpa had - by today's standards - not a high education. Between the world wars, times were rough and most people only went through the equivalent of today's middle school.
          However, I consider him one of the smartest and wisest people I have encountered in all my life.

              I wonder if people here who are parents set standards for what kind of clothing their children can wear, or not wear, especially out of the house and how closely they monitor them. And for people here who are living in a home where their parents are in control do your parents set and enforce standards for what you wear when you leave the house. Reason I ask is I have periodic tiffs with my Dad about what I am allowed to wear. I'm 21.

                Avery And for people here who are living in a home where their parents are in control do your parents set and enforce standards for what you wear when you leave the house.

                I have only "standards" what I wear indoors. Basically I must be dressed properly when I leave my room

                  Avery Reason I ask is I have periodic tiffs with my Dad about what I am allowed to wear.

                  I only give recommendations and explain my view why certain clothes do not fit or are adapted to the circumstances. But every adult is responsible and no one should force the decision on you.

                    Avery Reason I ask is I have periodic tiffs with my Dad about what I am allowed to wear.

                    Even together with you chastity belt?

                        Renita Even together with you chastity belt?

                        We've gone through various stages. Before the belt it was crop tops and low risers. Lately it's how much of my bum I show at the beach. No belt at the beach, of course. I model my bikinis now for him to make sure we're in agreement.

                            curious Don't mix up intelligence and education.

                            i'm not doing that, i'm just saying that there are those cases, that's why i think that parents don't always have the ability to be more intelligent than their children, that can be through education, but also through other things. you can't compensate for everything with life experience.

                            Avery Reason I ask is I have periodic tiffs with my Dad about what I am allowed to wear. I'm 21.

                            inside the house it doesn't matter, i can even be naked if i want to, outside the house he always checks what i'm wearing before i go out and whether it suits the occasion.

                                  Avery Before the belt it was crop tops and low risers.

                                  Locked waistband is enough to prevent this, not more tiffs needed.

                                    Avery I can imagine that my parents will dictate what can or cant I wear since I was 13/14 yo.
                                    Sometimes my parents say that they "dont like it" or that "it doesnt fit me well", but I can do what I want. Im adult like them.

                                        Kaja

                                        I have plenty of freedom, but an unwed daughter living in home needs parents permission for those things.
                                        I do not have problems, but we have same ideas about clothes than my parents and they are liberal about that.

                                          Kaja I'm adult like them.

                                          You and I are apparently exactly the same age. But I am not an adult like them. They have more life experience, more money, a big house, four cars, they offer free food and I love them. So if Dad wants me to keep my bottom covered at the beach I do it. Well, half of it.

                                              Kaja Age in not a merit

                                              Do you not expect to be smarter about life in ten years? Twenty years? And make better decisions? I'm smarter now than I was at 18. Expect you are too.

                                                  Avery better decisions? I'm smarter now than I was at 18.

                                                  It is the difference between live and stay alive.
                                                  If you live, you are smarter everyday...
                                                  If you only stay alive...