Why do you think masturbation is wrong?

Angelina

Rina It's more like I won't become keyholder of my future daughter's (if I have any) chastity belt.

completely ok, no one will force you to 🙂

curious For that reason there is no point discussing legal aspects as they vary by country.

that's true, but i can't think of any western country where it's legal, but you're also right, i don't know of any specific cases where a judge has actually ruled on it.

curious

Angelina but i can't think of any western country where it's legal,

Considering how conservative the red states in the US have become, banning all abortions.....
I think especially in those states you actually might have a pretty good chance CB will be legally accepted for strict parental control and raisi g children according to conservative values.
But unless some case gets in front of a judge, that's just speculation.

Angelina

curious

I think the case would end up in court, as would the new anti-abortion laws. At the end of the day, that's certainly difficult for the court because it would set a precedent

curious

Angelina
Yes. But my point is, that it is probably not possible to predict which way the courts would rule. Hence claiming that using a belt on children is per se illegal seems to me not convincing.

Andrew

a_father Don't do that. You can't imagine how weired this would be for her. You live in an absolut parallel world now. When you are free for a while an look back you'll understand. Perhapse you even want to talk with the athorities about what happened to you.

It seems to me that you are slightly demonizing the chastity belt. It is one thing to encourage girl to wear a chastity belt, and quite another to talk about it, show it, or even allow it to be tried on.

a_father Otherwise we would be in the situation in Rome 50BC. The 'pater familias' had the absolut power. He could punish, exclude family members, even kill family members.

Respect for referring to Roman law 😀

Angelina i don't want to harm my daughter, but the day will come when she might ask what my sex life was like in my teens or young adulthood and i would like to be honest in such an important conversation.

Reasonable approach.

Angelina

Andrew It seems to me that you are slightly demonizing the chastity belt. It is one thing to encourage girl to wear a chastity belt, and quite another to talk about it, show it, or even allow it to be tried on.

thank you, that is the only thing i am trying to explain 🙂

curious Hence claiming that using a belt on children is per se illegal

I think it is at least illegal if it happens against the will of the child because children also have a right to develop freely sexually.

curious

Angelina I think it is at least illegal if it happens against the will of the child because children also have a right to develop freely sexually.

In Germany - yes. But would that hold true in very conservative states in the US? I am not sure your interpretation is a given there. You have to balance the right of a child to develop freely against the right of parents to decide how a child is raised. And in those very conservative states the second might well get the higher priority in courts.
But again, as long as this is not testet in court, we will never know and everything we say one way or the other is just speculation.

Angelina

curious But again, as long as this is not testet in court, we will never know and everything we say one way or the other is just speculation.

Yes, I agree, may I add that I'm surprised that court cases like this haven't existed for a long time? I mean here in the forum alone is already enough "potential", which surprises me

a_father

curious @Angelina lives in Germany and we talk about her.

curious

Angelina
I am not at all surprised. I mean.... look at your own case.
By your own classification you are Involuntary wearer but you kind of accept the decision your father has made. Given the price tag of a good belt, parents who are not really interested in the well-being of their children would not invest that kind of money. But if parents are so interested in the well being of their children, this usually would reflect in a pretty good relationship. And if the trust and emotional connection is good, just like with you the belt will be accepted as part of the parental authority (even though you don't like it), but you would not take your father to court to get out, would you?

a_father

Angelina Perhapse all fakes? That would mean no risk to be caught. It is like the Fermi-paradox (aliens, that should be here, but no visitors and no signals in the darkness of space). It can be solved, when no aliens exist at all.
The number of boys and girls here, claiming to wear a chastity belt means the possibility of a minor wearing a belt being caught is not zero. I'm here for a long time, but it never happened. When such a teenager would be caught wearing a belt in school (or on other public events) you would read about it, I'm sure. Then we could see, what happened with the parents.
But this has never happened.

Angelina

curious

well, i believe my father that he is really doing this to protect me, it is definitely the wrong way, but because i can understand his motivation better now, i don't go to the authorities. however, i am surprised, that so far there have been no cases where a girl has decided otherwise.

a_father

even if a girl is caught doing it, it doesn't mean that others will get involved. look, girls get beaten up on the street without passers-by helping her, they just walk by. many will rather think "not my business", the same goes for the chastity belt

a_father

Angelina I'm not sure. A chastity belt is something very unusual. And unusual things are interesting. And a teacher in school must report such a discovery to the authorities.
By the way, I havent read something from one mother making her minor daughters wear a chastity belt her in the forum. Perhapse one of them was caught.... What II want to say is, in this case members would just disappear and nobody would notice. To protect the victim a trial would take place behind closed doors. So nobody can say if it has happened till now.
And concerning your father: What is he trying to protect you from? This is the question you should ask him. There is no need to protect you from making love with your girlfriend...

Avery

a_father There is no need to protect you from making love with your girlfriend...

To some folks all orgasms are created equal, whether with a guy, a girl, or alone.

Angelina

a_father And concerning your father: What is he trying to protect you from? This is the question you should ask him. There is no need to protect you from making love with your girlfriend...

my father is concerned with two aspects. on the one hand, the fact that sexual pleasure would keep me too much from important things like studies/work/household etc., i disagree, but it's his opinion. on the other hand, he wants me to have a certain maturity before I become sexually active. he sees that maturity as a given when I'm mature enough to say I want to marry someone

a_father

Angelina But giving you a release or a little pleasure with your girlfriend from time to time would not be in conflict with his goals.
I think, he has to explain. When you are together with your girlfriend you have a break from your studies and you other task. So no reason to have no pleasure. What he says means you have to work and study always. That's not the case.
I'd like to know, what he has to say to these arguments.

Cb85

I know when I pleasure myself regularly I become more and more selfish.
Why pay attention to your spouse when you can indulge with much less effort, it takes effort to romance and please your spouse.
In short It damages our relationship and I lack the self control to not do it so she happily holds the keys to my pleasure and I’m glad she is willing to. It make the times we come together much more intense and enjoyable.

Sara2001

Cb85 I feel kind of similar. Even if I don't think that masturbation is a bad thing in general, I think the fact that my husband is in control of my sexuality helps me a lot to focus on our relationship and him. Sexual activities are so much better when they are done together, even if I am not allowed to orgasm most of the time My husband can of course masturbate whenever he wants but I am happy and a bit proud that he doesn't do it but instead comes to me.

Avery

Sara2001 Sexual activities are so much better when they are done together, even if I am not allowed to orgasm most of the time My husband can of course masturbate whenever he wants but I am happy and a bit proud that he doesn't do it but instead comes to me.

That's fine if you are happy with it, and you are so it's great, but I would worry that this attitude in a man, that the woman must come exclusively to him for sexual satisfaction, is just a remnant of the patriarchy. I.e. that the woman is the man's property.

Cb85

Avery what about in my case. I’m the one going to my wife for fulfillment?
Just cuz a woman is doing so doesn’t mean she is beholden to some old law. Why can’t ppl just be doing what they want.

Avery

Cb85 what about in my case. I’m the one going to my wife for fulfillment?
Just cuz a woman is doing so doesn’t mean she is beholden to some old law. Why can’t ppl just be doing what they want.

The two cases are different. Clearly, I think.

In your case you, a man, are deciding you will refrain from masturbation. You are doing what you want. Fine.

The case I stated is where a man decides that the woman must come only to him for satisfaction. It is not her choice. Meanwhile, he continues to masturbate. Or maybe he doesn't, considering it unmanly not being able to get a woman to do him. In any case he has made the decision for her. Or for both of them, if you like. Not so fine.

Angelina

Avery It is not her choice.

So at least @Sara2001 has voluntarily decided to do so.

I find it interesting to talk about something. we all always say that women shouldn't be the property of their husbands and men shouldn't be the property of their wives either. However, if both are the case at the same time, I believe that a perfect marriage of equal rights is created.
i experience it too often that people in marriages behave absolutely selfishly and think that there is a mistake that many justify with independence and freedom, i don't have to be that in a marriage, i can be the property of my partner and that just as long as as long as my partner is also my property

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