My daughter wants her own belt!

Kaja

Andrew The best answer

James

Kaja A perfect answer.

C-B

MarleenTotok How old is your daughter? Letś her try it, but discuss with her all consequences, I mean keyholkding, rules,...

MarleenTotok

Renita Also a chastity belt on you looks nice.

do you mean me?

C-B How old is your daughter?

she will be 19 soon!

C-B but discuss with her all consequences

we spent a lot of time on this today!

C-B Letś her try it

We give her this chance.

Andrew If your daughter still wants it, buy it for her.

she should first try out my belt and gain some experience with it. Just buy one straight away and then it won't be used, it's a bit too expensive.
But we give her the chance to try it.

Ines Late. Did you hide it from her?

yes i did it. Beacause i wear mine in an mix of serious use and kink use.

Laura Get locked in it for a while.

she gehts her chance 😉

curious

The important question is WHY.
Does your daughter want the belt because it is interesting to her as a kink or sexual toy? In this case getting involved as a parent would be highly inappropriate in my views.
If she wants the belt for serious use, she should be aware what that involves, namely not having control anymore once she has decided to start.
There are just two ways from where I stand;
If she wants to be able to get out whenever she likes, that means she does not really need a keyholder. She can use the belt by herself then for whatever reasons she sees fit. From sexual toy to protecting herself from either her own urges or sexual assault, whatever the reason is not your problem, because apart from buying it you are not involved.
If she however wants you as keyholder, the question of what her goals are becomes important. I would suggest to only become keyholder for a serious use (e. g. if she wants to stay a virgin until her wedding), but make it very clear to her that the belt will be used to make certain the set goal will be achieved and opting out later will not be possible.
Every serious wearer will come to a point where - at least temporarily - the inconvenience of wearing the belt will result in involuntary wearing. So the idea that every wearer must have the right to cancel the agreement at any time and be unlocked is not realistic, then she does not need to start wearing at all.
In addition as keyholder you are not just doing her a favour, you set your own rules. Just be fair about it and transparent from the start. If for example her wish is virginity to her wedding day and you disapprove of masturbation, you can set your rules about how much - if at all - will be permitted. It is then up to your daughter to enter that agreement and the belt with the rules as they have been agreed or to say she does not want the belt under your conditions.

Ines

curious

Well, it is important, I said that goals are important, but firstly the main target is that she understand the full implications, the problems, the advantages...
It is obvious that such implications depend heavily on goals, as you say, but firstly, a try of physical and emotional feeling as @Laura says can be the first step.

Kaja

curious No! Keyholder never can edit rules. If locked person wants cb only to preserve virginity, keyholder CAN NOT say somethink about other rules like masturbation.

Andrew

curious but make it very clear to her that the belt will be used to make certain the set goal will be achieved and opting out later will not be possible.

A predetermined complete lack of opt-out means a potential lack of voluntariness. Rather, the rules of resignation should be established, e.g. periods (at the end of a month, quarter or half a year) in which she can do so without consequences, or a delay after which she will receive the key if she wants to resign (e.g. a week), to give the opportunity for reflection. There may also be some "punishment" for failure to comply with the resignation rules, e.g. the inability to return to holding the key by the current keyholder.

curious the idea that every wearer must have the right to cancel the agreement at any time and be unlocked is not realistic,

I'd say it's very realistic, but not quite right because it spoils the idea of wearing a belt unless there are some constraints.

youdontknowme

Kaja This is not about changing agreed-upon rules, this is about negotiating the terms in the first place, before the belt goes on. And in that case, the worst-case result is that the prospective keyholder does not take the keys, so I do not think we are dealing with keyholder overreach here. Negotiation is a two-way street.

Strongly disagree with "opting out later will not be possible" however. That goes against the principles of consent. There must be an agreement on how such arrangements can be dissolved, and the consequences of dissolving it. I do admit there is some merit to measures that discourage the use of retracted consent to break the self-imposed rules, but any avoidable delay between retracting consent and the belt coming off has to be something she explicitly wants.

zbovka

Kaja No! Keyholder never can edit rules.

Predictability and consent is a must for the wearer. What @Natalia's mother did to her with the thigh bands likely damaged their trust.

MarleenTotok Renita Also a chastity belt on you looks nice.

do you mean me?

Probably lost in translation. We have a number of non-english native speakers here.

MarleenTotok she should first try out my belt and gain some experience with it

Not going to lie, but its a little weird to wear your parents' "underwear"
-Then again hand-me-down clothes are common. I for whatever reason still have hand-me-down clothes that are so old that they predate australia's fibre optic network system, and have probably been in contact with mothball ofgassing than they've seen the light of day.

Renita Well done. First "no sexual activitys without an serious relationship", but the "she could masturbate".
I'm trapped the same way.

I'm not a girl, but I doubt it would be that satisfying unless the primary shield has a wide enough gap for your intimate organ to poke through.

Renita Are you sure? Would you let her out without a wedding ring?

Something interesting to note is that there are jewellery called something like chastity rings (unrelated to male cages) which are essentially reverse-wedding rings which you wear before you're married to demotivate sexual activity. They don't serve any real functional purpose though.

Christine Tell her not to do it.

Considering the daughter opened up to their parents about this, if they're truly serious they probably don't need prompting and are already mature enough.

curious

youdontknowme This is not about changing agreed-upon rules, this is about negotiating the terms in the first place, before the belt goes on. And in that case, the worst-case result is that the prospective keyholder does not take the keys, so I do not think we are dealing with keyholder overreach here. Negotiation is a two-way street.

Exactly my point

Renita

Also a chastity belt on you looks nice.

MarleenTotok

Thanks everyone for your replies 🙂

I was just talking to my husband about this this morning. in principle, he has nothing against it. He also thinks we should support their wish.

later we had a long talk with our daughter. or rather two conversations. meanwhile my husband and I talked alone again.

we wanted to know how she imagines it and how she thinks it will be.

basically she would like to wear a belt like that for serious use, no kink use (she knows, i wear them for serious and kink use) as she speaks, her goals are no sexual activities without serious releationship.

We think we'll let her try wearing a chastity belt. But I don't have an old belt anymore, so she can try mine later if she wants. it won't fit 100%, but with small adjustments it should fit very well.

she is still out, but she knows that she can try the belt later.

I also think that I will tell her about the forum here, maybe she would also like to comment on the topic here.

Andrew

MarleenTotok she should first try out my belt and gain some experience with it

Of course, if possible, let her try wearing yours.

Renita

MarleenTotok do you mean me?

Me. I don't know how about you.

MarleenTotok If she wears an belt without the secondary shield, she could mastrubate! Mastrubate is sexual activity too.

Well done. First "no sexual activitys without an serious relationship", but the "she could masturbate".
I'm trapped the same way.

MarleenTotok The goal is not an wedding or similar else

Are you sure? Would you let her out without a wedding ring?

MarleenTotok

Andrew if possible, let her try wearing yours.

yes its possible. shurely it will not fits 100% but nearly! She could try my belt and the most of acessoiries if she would do them.
My belt is ready for an try, its cleaned and now only waiting for my doughter.

Mithras

MarleenTotok Acessories? You mean thighbands and/or a metal bra?? All other acessories I can think of, would be of a kinky nature, isn´t it :-)

Andrew

MarleenTotok most of acessoiries

Thigh bands and chastity bra?

MarleenTotok

you bouth are right! For serious use i have bands and bra. bands are daily used, my doughter only has seen me with the bands on.

Mithras

MarleenTotok For serious use i have bands and bra. bands are daily used, my doughter only has seen me with the bands on.

Will you give her the "full program", with thigh bands and bra?

MarleenTotok

NO! i dont give her an "programm"! She sould only decide what she would try. In my mind she should only try the belt for first try.
But she knows from bands and bra, so she should have the try otion for all (excluding kink stuff). I could not tell her, you could try the belt and the other things are not allowed but i wear them for serios wearing (excluding kink stuff). that not realistic in my mind.

Mithras

MarleenTotok that’s a good plan!

curious

@"MarleenTotok"
So, what is your daughter`s goal?
Why does she want the belt? And have you made up your mind what are your conditions for being keyholder?

MarleenTotok

curious So, what is your daughter`s goal?

her goal and why she would want the belt is no sexual activitys without an serious relationship. The goal is not an wedding or similar else, only an stable and serious relationship. I could accept them!

curious And have you made up your mind what are your conditions for being keyholder?

not easy to explayn. if her wish would be real, my husband would be the keyholder. i would handle locking or unlocking, but the keys are on his hands, i would prefere them. our daughter would accept them.

She is now at home and she will try now the belt! She is preparing her in the bathroom and if she is ready, i would helb her with the belt and try to fit them for her.

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