Christine It looks more and more stupid.
Yes, I can imagine.
Christine I still can't afford it.
Perhaps you could take an internet course or follow evening classes, so you could get qualifications for a better paid job? I believe here in the Netherlands, the unemployment agency would be willing to help you with that, even if you are not currently unemployed, to improve your chances to be as productive as you can, but I don't know how that is in other countries.
Maybe you have already considered all such options, and my suggestion doesn't help; but I have the feeling you are sort of stuck in a situation with no easy way out, so I'm trying to think what you could do to make it better.