• PollFemale

  • just for fun and interest, should i wear a belt after after the wedding?

Damien

no, i don't get orgasms by rubbing my breasts, but i can stimulate myself a lot. the question should be the other way round. i give my sexual control to my wife and that includes my breasts

Sasha Curious if you’ve discussed how the other will feel if the safe word is used.

we have discussed that there will be no discussions in the first 6 months. if someone uses the safeword, the belt will be opened and the ‘game’ is over. of course we would analyse later what didn't work

Tjc I suspect that even if the number of orgasms for you does not change (although I suspect it will) you will have a constant awareness that the number and timing is not under your control.

that's exactly the point, i have inserted a minimum certainty that i have to get one orgasm a month, but i don't know when i'll get it. i also don't know if i'll get one or ten orgasms a month, that's all for my wife to decide and i'll only find out during sex

Joh Don't forget to have on a regular base a talk about your feelings

we are considering setting up a fixed day each week on which we talk openly to avoid discussions on the other days

Joh Is your orgasm what makes you happy or the intimacy and excitement you get from Camryn?

definitely the latter, otherwise I couldn't get involved in being locked up again 😃

Tjc

you have to consider that we had a relationship for several years in which i had no orgasms and the relationship was still happy, for me an orgasm is only a small part of the marriage, a ‘climax’ of intimacy 😂 . of course i am also happy with few orgasms when i realise that my wife takes care of me and loves me 100% 🙂

Tjc She is a good writer and good at sharing how she feels so it is something to look forward to.

due to my poor knowledge of english i am not a good writer, but i will try to describe as precisely as possible what is happening and how i feel about it 😉

                  Angelina I am happy to accept questions and ideas

                  This sounds fun, good luck. One idea: have you thought about getting other accessories for your belt? For example, plugs that can be locked in for a while?

                      Angelina
                      Seems you already have an exciting plan in place. Hopefully it will work for both of you.

                      If you have an average of one orgasms a month and you did have ten in a month, does that mean that the next nine months you won't have any?

                      Do your thighbands also have a block piece for making them even more restrictive when needed?

                          Padre Don’t think she ever mentioned having one.
                          But I can say using only a padlock between them is more restrictive than you’d ever need for a punishment

                              Spork One idea: have you thought about getting other accessories for your belt? For example, plugs that can be locked in for a while?

                              no, because in my view it contradicts the purpose of a chastity belt. a chastity belt is supposed to prevent sexual activity, not promote it

                              Padre If you have an average of one orgasms a month and you did have ten in a month, does that mean that the next nine months you won't have any?

                              no, once a month is the minimum, every month, everything else is a decision of my wife. in the worst case i get an orgasm on the first day of a month and then another one on the last day of the next month, but it can also be that i get 10 orgasms in one month, but then i still get at least one the next month

                              Padre Do your thighbands also have a block piece for making them even more restrictive when needed?

                              i don't own anything like that and it's not necessary. i will wear a chain in the triangular version as i have done before

                              Sasha using only a padlock between them is more restrictive than you’d ever need for a punishment

                              a chain is enough and i think my wife will think several times whether the bands are really used, she knows how hard it is for me. actually I wanted to exclude the bands, but I think if I give her the right to control my sexuality she must also have that option

                                        Angelina no, because in my view it contradicts the purpose of a chastity belt. a chastity belt is supposed to prevent sexual activity, not promote it

                                        I might argue (and I believe you earlier wrote) that the purpose of your belt is to "give sexual control to [your] wife". That control might mean taking away your ability to reach one type of sexual pleasure (until she chooses to give that to you). However it could also mean giving up control not to be constantly reminded of that type of pleasure. "Accessories", which you are powerless to remove, could heighten the sense of control you have given to Camryn and the anticipation of greater pleasures that only she has the power to provide?

                                            Angelina You make a big mistake. Toys use with belt can give your experience to heaven (or hell - it depens what word do you prefer).

                                              Angelina Im very interested to see how this experience goes for you, its a topic that has come up between my girlfriend and I a few times, will be very helpful seeing someones else's experience in a similar dynamic.

                                                  Angelina i don't own anything like that and it's not necessary. i will wear a chain in the triangular version as i have done before

                                                  Does the triangular chain force you to close your legs if you sit down?
                                                  Regarding the block piece. I think it makes only sense if you have the feeling you need more restriction at a specific situation. But I doubted this will ever happen in your relation. If you do, you can make one yourself from a screw, washers, a nut and a lock.

                                                  Sasha Im very interested to see how this experience goes for you, its a topic that has come up between my girlfriend and I a few times, will be very helpful seeing someones else's experience in a similar dynamic.

                                                  Do you have a similar agreement with your girlfriend?

                                                        Joh No, but it’s something we’ve discussed a bit. So it’s going to be great seeing how it goes for someone else in a similar situation

                                                            Sasha And you and your girlfriend don't have the keys from your gear

                                                                Laura Correct, it would be quite some time before either of us has access to my keys.
                                                                But it’s something we’ve discussed a bit so having someone’s experience to work from is a big plus

                                                                  Bryan That control might mean taking away your ability to reach one type of sexual pleasure (until she chooses to give that to you).

                                                                  right, that's our definition, the belt should take sexual feelings (I hope it is understandable what I mean, it is difficult for me to explain), that's why we don't want to use plugs. maybe we are a bit conservative in general, but except for one dildo everything is "handmade" for us.

                                                                  Sasha

                                                                  don't forget that we have a different history, but in the end it's your decision. the belt has helped you become a better person so far, maybe it will be the same when your girlfriend has the keys. in your case, would that be when you get married?

                                                                  Joh Does the triangular chain force you to close your legs if you sit down?

                                                                  exactly, when i sit it pulls my legs together. i admit this was a tough decision for me in general to put the thighbands on the plan, i hate those things so much, but i want to give camryn an option if she thinks it's really necessary

                                                                          Sasha No, but it’s something we’ve discussed a bit

                                                                          In which direction if I may ask? That one of you is responsible about your sexuality or alternately?

                                                                          Angelina right, that's our definition, the belt should take sexual feelings (I hope it is understandable what I mean

                                                                          I think this it the right way to start with. If you hand over the responsibility to Camryn than she will be the one who should arouse you and not a soulless toy.

                                                                          Angelina i admit this was a tough decision for me in general to put the thighbands on the plan, i hate those things so much, but i want to give camryn an option if she thinks it's really necessary

                                                                          I completely agree with you and congratulate you on your comprehensive concession. It takes a lot to do it like this and it speaks for you that it will be like this. I am very excited to see how it will develop and what challenges you will face.

                                                                                  Joh Mostly in the context of, if our relationship evolved to marriage, and she received the keys at that point what would she do with them?
                                                                                  Obviously it’s mostly hypothetical discussions at this point, but it’s something we’ve talked a bit about since the relationship has gone very well so far.
                                                                                  But the general direction of it has been, would I be willing to allow her that control? And under what conditions. So being able to see how it works for someone else might be pretty helpful for me deciding on anything

                                                                                      Sasha But the general direction of it has been, would I be willing to allow her that control?

                                                                                      And would you do it or how do your feel by this thought?
                                                                                      I mean it will not reallyt something new because your mom is your KH and controls your sexuality. If you marry your GF the difference will be you love each other other but now would your wife take care you get from her what you need on intimacy.

                                                                                          Joh That’s the general thought. Not much changes from a functional perspective. Except she’d be providing and controlling my intimacy.
                                                                                          The big reasons it’s something that I’m interested to see first hand experience with is, I’d imagined gaining that control back at that point. Like @Angelina did. So how will this effect her relationship?
                                                                                          My other concern was, does she want to do this because she doesn’t trust me without it, or that she loves me deeply enough she wants to be my sole provider of intimacy.
                                                                                          Obviously it’s too early in the relationship to determine if that depth of love exists yet, but she’s made it clear that if I want to continue with it it will be because she cares for me.

                                                                                              Sasha Thank you this help me to understand.
                                                                                              Than I wish you all the best for your relationship. I hope it will be with the deep love you deserve and you will develop for her.

                                                                                                  Joh Thanks. It has a long way to go still. Her and I have a really good relationship going and we are becoming very open with each other. It feels like I’ve really found someone that I want to be with.
                                                                                                  Her family on the other hand doesn’t entirely like us being together. There’s a lot to overcome there. Her parents barely accept her sexuality, and don’t hate me outright but would prefer she wasn’t. That’s a work in progress, at a point of they kind of accept me but have made it clear it’ll be a long time till I’m welcome in their home.
                                                                                                  Laura can move this exchange to my AMA

                                                                                                      Sasha Her family on the other hand doesn’t entirely like us being together. There’s a lot to overcome there. Her parents barely accept her sexuality, and don’t hate me outright but would prefer she wasn’t. That’s a work in progress, at a point of they kind of accept me but have made it clear it’ll be a long time till I’m welcome in their home.

                                                                                                      Family can be stressful, especially if your child doesn't live up to your expectations. But I think it will get better with time and if it continues to develop with the two of you it will be a really good relationship.