Vanessa Yeah. I don’t really get it. Well, I sorta do, but seems any rules need to apply to all 3 girls - and should have a LONG time ago. Where does the older sis live?

      James
      if you meant that question toward me, they all live together in my parents house but sorry for misinterpreting it if thats not what you meant.

          vyktoryah So, what I'm hearing is you have two rude and irresponsible older sisters and they are taking it out on....you?

              James
              essentially thats what is happening yeah. they are both making my sisters work right now though and they have to also take care of the kid they have so its definitely alot of work. they wouldnt be living here if they didnt already have kids thought my parents just dont want them to be on the streets with kids. they basically kicked my one sister out already once but they went back on the decision because of the child

                  vyktoryah Personally I think it's irrelevant if they have kids or not.

                  Your best line here is likely going to be - "If you're going to have these rules they should apply to ALL your sisters."

                      James
                      i agree with that for sure! it definitely should apply to them i just think my parents wont because they are 18+ but im gonna definitely say that so thank you for your answers and everyone elses idk when this is supposed 2 even be happening i just know the next 2 weeks at most because thats how delivery works i think but i only mention the kids bc thats a lot of work load on someone thats single but ik its their fault that they had kids at that age unmarried etc

                          I would ask mom and dad if they are afraid some of your sister's friends might try to rape you. if her friends are really that bad that might be your parent's fear?

                            vyktoryah So...what if they are 18 plus. They are irresponsible girls - you sound way wiser and more mature than them.

                            You could try saying you'll accept it ONLY if it applies to them, and there is strict discipline and rules across the board. See what the replies get. As your sisters have shown, because they made one mistake won't mean they will stop making them!

                                James
                                i think them being 18+ just has something to do with my parents "legally" not being allowed to? IDK how it works or whats going on in my parents heads rn but thank you for saying i seem smarter. without bragging or whatever i really always have felt i was abit more mature than them though if eel being able to see their mistakes helps me do that too. maybe they wouldnt be where they were if they had older sisters too that did bad things? im not sure but all ik is they definitely dont respect my parents enough so this punishment coming to me is strange

                                    cham-ed
                                    their friends arent necessarily that bad i dont think its just that they dont want me to get pregnant with someone of my own choice but maybe forceful is a concern for them too, i literally never leave my house tho omg so idk why they would worry about that

                                      vyktoryah I will also add though that the fact you’re in this mess shows that your parents don’t even know what strict dicipline means or how it is done.

                                      Many of the girls here and elsewhere are belted and punished in other ways, but your parents still will actually need to learn to parent.

                                        vyktoryah Lol, if we want to play legalities they can’t belt you either.

                                        This just seems lazy - and it won’t work because it is lazy. A belt is work and responsibilities. And above that, so what if you’re belted if you’re still not doing well in school etc. (For example). They have to decide if they want to actually be strict and firm parents for the now…7 kids under their roof, because this problem ain’t going away.

                                            James
                                            yeah my parents kind of have resorted to really dumb and exteme punishments in the past. this was a shocker though to me but as i sai dmy mom apparently used one when she was younger so maybe they had that discussion for my sisters too. i dont know enough about the situation yet to really say

                                                James
                                                also what do you mean by thye cant belt me either? is this a law i can bring up to them?

                                                • Ines replied to this.

                                                    vyktoryah
                                                    Hello.
                                                    Even if we have plenty of information here, please make a little introduction in introduction topic.
                                                    Well, firstly your parents can not force you to wear a belt, it is an abuse or a crime, so, @James is right, and law is on your side.
                                                    The wearing of a belt that starts with fear can not be successful.
                                                    And further, I can not understand that your sisters do not wear it, I have sisters, and rules are the same.
                                                    Frankly I see your parents decision as a intended way to avoid worries... and belt implies a lot of worries about the girl...
                                                    Talk with your parents, and if you do not want wear it, do not do it.

                                                        Ines
                                                        well i feel my parents giving belts to my sisters isnt entirely out of the equation. i just dont have any confirmation on it at all the only thing i know 100% is that they ordered one for me. its definitely not soemthing i want though of course but my mom says it is something i would grow to like and respect and that she used to use hers for a long time but stopped because of personal health issues. i dont think i would like one though so im of course gonna talk with them and mention all these things everyone here has helped me come up with like the fact that its apparently illegal to even do! but okay! sure ill make a introduction in there. thx for the info

                                                            vyktoryah Give me a few minutes to answer your questions….

                                                            vyktoryah yeah my parents kind of have resorted to really dumb and extreme punishments in the past.

                                                            This is my point and concern - they clearly don't know how to parent. What is effective is consistency. Normally I'd say whatever, but there are 4 kids in that house plus you, so, they actually need to learn to parent.

                                                            Legally speaking, it's more 'legal' to belt your sisters than you - they are adults and can 'agree' to it by virtue of a condition of living at home. So, it's more grey with you needless to say.

                                                            But what @Ines says about fear and mistrust is right. I do believe in strict and consistent discipline. But clearly that is not happening at your house.

                                                                vyktoryah I will say resorting the 'illegal' line isn't going to help solve a problem, and a lot of this depends on what relationship with your parents you want - you have choices and leverage here. Refuse outright or dictate terms.

                                                                But it would be unsafe for you to accept being in a belt unless it came with an ironclad commitment that it would apply to everyone AND they agreed to actually learn how to parent. Having consistent parents would of course, be useful for you to help you do what you want to do.

                                                                Plus, many mothers here wear belts too. I'm real curious what 'medical issue' happened - that's rare, and sounds more like a case of neglect.