christmas presents
Amira if it is going to be a mistake then I always can step back out of it. Thank you for genuinely worrying!
because tomorrow is christmas (and i hope you're still reading this) a little tip: don't promise your parents to stay chaste until next christmas, but say this: " i promise to try everything to stay chaste until next christmas and i'm sure If you support me, I have a good chance" 
Avery
But there is one major difference:
Your values are far less strict than Amira`s. For you, if you fail you start over and just go on.
For her even one slip-up is completely unacceptable. If you have a zero tolerance for failure, of course you will have to take far more extreme measures to ensure that.
curious For you, if you fail you start over and just go on.
For her even one slip-up is completely unacceptable.
And what would she then do if she had a failure? She would start over as well. If she were still living in Syria would she "take far more extreme measures" to protect herself? No. Muslim girls do not wear chastity belts, at least I've never heard that they do. But millions of them succeed without belts. It is their religion. They think that is what they should do.
Avery She would start over as well.
Agree.
Avery But millions of them succeed without belts.
I agree, but here there are some rumours:
Well, exist some stories about them in high class people. A lot of them stay seasons in Marbella, a touristic village. Some stories are heard.
However strict genre segregation in those civilizations, make a huge difference too.
Avery She would start over as well.
Agree.
Avery But millions of them succeed without belts.
I agree, but here there are some rumours:
Well, exist some stories about them in high class people. A lot of them stay seasons in Marbella, a touristic village. Some stories are heard.
However strict genre segregation in those civilizations, make a huge difference too.
Ines However strict genre segregation in those civilizations, make a huge difference too.
I completely agree with you here. I've been pretty open about my own experiences, not wearing sexy clothes, not going to bars, showering in a place where others are present, taking cold showers when needed. One has to make some adjustments. The Muslims make adjustments, as you point out, and it seems that many succeed. And it has been tried in the US with the Mormons and Brigham Young University and the Baptists and Liberty University without such strict gender separation. So I just object when someone like @curious says some girl he doesn't even know must wear a belt even if she's a Muslim.
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Avery Back, well way back before the modern stainless steel belts and before the pill for birth control and even condoms were hard to come by. They were kept behind the counter and you had to ask for them. With that difficulty young people were less inclined to have PiV sex. They did pet and play and have hand jobs, etc. but rarely sex.
The girls mothers were very protective. If the girl were going out, first she would have to put on her tight panty girdle. Then over that 6 or 7 layers of full stiff petticoats. This provided a pretty good barrier and at least gave some time to think more clearly. And can you imagine getting through that in the back seat of a sedan?
Sorry. Could not resist some history,
I am not saying she must.
If Amira is OK with your way of handling things, where she just tries her best but if she fails her goals, she just continues, then she can take your approach as example. But if even one failure to follow her rules is completely unacceptable to her and that is her priority, what is wrong with going for strict 24/7 wearing?
First you define your goals. Then you look at how to achieve these goals and what sacrifices you are prepared to make for reaching these goals.
If Amira decides for herself that in order to ensure her hymen is guaranteed intact she is prepared to live 24/7 in thigh bands and the benefits outweigh the restrictions in her very personal weighing of things, we should accept her priorities rather than telling her to follow someone else's values instead of her own.
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curious what is wrong with going for strict 24/7 wearing?
It's an enormous inconvenience, night and day, and makes her even more different than she already is, a Muslim girl living in Europe.
curious If Amira decides for herself that in order to ensure her hymen is guaranteed intact she is prepared to live 24/7 in thigh bands
Explain that to all of us. Why she needs thigh bands to keep her hymen intact. You do not understand what you are talking about. Not even the basics.
curious we should accept her priorities rather than telling her to follow someone else's values instead of her own.
I made a suggestion that she try something different from the party line here that she must be in hardware. I only asked her to try one day a week doing it like the women in her home country do it.
Avery
Let me use a comparison:
In your world, failure to follow through with your goal of chastity would be the equivalent of catching influenza. Not nice but not the worst there is in life. Hence the level of protection you chose to get is trying to find a balance between the discomfort from that protection and the risk posed by influenza.
In Amira's world, failure is more comparable to catching Ebola. Not surprisingly, she is therefore opting for a much higher level of protection even though that protection is comes with a lot of discomfort.
And saying that level of protection is not necessary and encouraging to follow your example is not helping her. Neither is arguing that in predominantly Muslim countries most girls do not wear belts. That may be true, but given how society is organised in these countries, the risk is far lower there.
curious Not surprisingly, she is therefore opting for a much higher level of protection even though that protection is comes with a lot of discomfort.
She is not opting for anything. When her mother married her stepfather he insisted that she start wearing a belt.
curious In Amira's world, failure is more comparable to catching Ebola.
And why do you think she is going to fail? She is old enough to keep Ramadan. If she can go from sunrise to sunset for a whole month with nothing to eat or drink, not even a sip of water, I think she can go one day a week without touching herself. I can even do that and there's no way I could keep Ramadan for even a day. Or even 'til lunch time.
We are still waiting for you to tell us all why she needs thigh bands to protect her hymen. Good luck with that.
Avery
If I remember correctly, she herself decided that she wants to avoid exercises or movements that could pote tially damage the hymen and talked with her mother about volunteering for thigh bands.
Personally I do not care whether or not it is damaged, but if it is of such importance to her, then it is not for you or me to argue that this is wrong.
curious Personally I do not care whether or not it is damaged, but if it is of such importance to her, then it is not for you or me to argue that this is wrong.
This is a forum, so if @Amira writes something in the forum, it is logical that the rest of the users give her opinion, especially if it is well-founded and informed.
There are several occasions in which you have incurred the same behavior, also with me.
If @Amira did not want to talk about it, or did not want feedback, she would not write here. From now on, I would suggest that you continue to enjoy the forum, giving your opinion, contributing or even discussing, but do not try to prevent someone else from doing the same.