Single again chastity

Saintprudence

That sounds great, I'm glad you're doing well. I hope to update you soon on how your "role reversal" is working.

Saintprudence My whole concept of chastity is sort of fluid right now so I’m just rolling with it . There’s a part of me that’s more pro-belting than I used to be so I’m just letting it out a bit!

Great you are back and please, let us know what is going on in your life.

Sara2001 Just give her a some more time. It wasn't her fault.

Did I miss it or are you talking about your sister's former boyfriend about a year ago?

Joh one reason I’m having a hard time describing it is that my opinions are in flux. I’ve really been examining my beliefs and who I think I am, but also trying to figure myself out.

For instance, keeping Goody belted has started to reinforce the idea in me that masturbation really is a sin and should be prohibited. There’s an authoritarian side of me that looks at people like Christine and actually approves of her staying belted until marriage. I can’t quite tell if that’s really coming from me or from my upbringing, but it feels more and more natural to encourage adults to stay belted. (I’m one million percent against use by or on anyone who’s not an adult, and the fantasies being spun on this forum by people who seem WAY too into the idea was really freaking me out, hence my long silence.)

Saintprudence one reason I’m having a hard time describing it is that my opinions are in flux. I’ve really been examining my beliefs and who I think I am, but also trying to figure myself out.

Yes, this a difficult task and needs time and patience.
How is Goody doing in her belt and has it change her view and behaviour?
Is she still happy with your progress?

Saintprudence I’m one million percent against use by or on anyone who’s not an adult, and the fantasies being spun on this forum by people who seem WAY too into the idea was really freaking me out

The same is true for me, and that is one of the reasons why I try to talk sense into people or they leave us.

Laura As I recall, you yourself remain comfortable with the idea of being locked up until marriage as well! Of which I highly approve.

Once one reaches the mental state of “that kind of touch is appropriate only for your married partner,” it’s pretty easy to justify the belt. After all, the only reason to object would be to do something forbidden!

Laura And @Renita too.

But I'm not against it.

Renita indeed, you seem to have a laudable acceptance of what it takes to live a thoroughly virtuous life.

Joh Did I miss it or are you talking about your sister's former boyfriend about a year ago?

Yes, she hasn't done anything wrong. He quitted for his own (understandable but unfair and egoistic) reasons.

Saintprudence why not stay belted as she asks until marriage, and then leave the decision to your husband?

Coz she can convince him.

Angelina would you reject the man of your dreams for that reason?

No, but it could be a nightmare.

Saintprudence looks at people like Christine and actually approves of her staying belted until marriage

It's nothing, but craziness. What lets you think so?

Christine Coz she can convince him.

Would that be so bad?

Christine It's nothing, but craziness. What lets you think so?

I was raised extremely Catholic to believe that masturbation and any sexual contact outside of marriage are sins. And I’m getting back in touch with the Catholic side of myself. And from that perspective, belting makes sense if you have no business letting anyone but your partner have contact there, yourself included.

On some level I think you agree, since you still wear the belt.

Christine My own mother would have all kinds of harsh words for you being divorced. (My mother was Catholic and not very nice. If she was still alive, I don’t know if we’d be speaking.) My mother-in-law, also Catholic, is nicer but even more devout than she was. Mother-in-law would urge you to stay belted on general principle; she’s a big fan of women accepting husbands as lawful biblical authority.

And I’m going to be honest, having had a taste of all sides, I can understand the appeal of both the peace of accepting authority and the confidence of wielding it.

Laura That's the goal

It would appear that at least for the moment, I’m the chastity evangelist you’ve always wanted here! My therapist has suggested that in my quest to reconcile the dominant and submissive parts of my personality, I let the dominant side out a bit more and see how it feels to let her do the talking, so to speak. I’ve never actually straight-up told someone “yes, you’re belted and it’s right that you should stay that way.” I wasn’t sure how it would feel and I’m still not certain, but it’s an interesting feeling to say the least.

Saintprudence For instance, keeping Goody belted has started to reinforce the idea in me that masturbation really is a sin and should be prohibited.

I still don't see it as a sin and saying like "should be prohibited" gets me angry - it's just like the whole thing with my mum I want to pretend never happened.

Why can't people see the value of chastity like what you get for yourself and what you'll have with your partner - like it's all positive!

Jen part of my problem is that I was raised deeply Catholic and the more I study Catholicism again, the more this nagging voice at the back of my mind starts to believe it. Catholicism creates a sense of perfect certainty that I find very attractive; it’s no wonder people get sucked into it so easily, as an alternative to a messy, messed-up world. The simplicity is comforting, even if it’s “masturbation is bad and you shouldn’t do it,” or its more dangerous cousin, “masturbation is bad and you shouldn’t let anyone do it.” It’s so tempting to just give up and give in to the authority of the belt, whether it’s wearing it as I once did or keyholding as I do now.

Religious beliefs and anti-masturbation are so strongly held that I’m surprised there aren’t more people like your mom. As it stands, the world is deeply opposed to any mature understanding of masturbation as it is.

Saintprudence For instance, keeping Goody belted has started to reinforce the idea in me that masturbation really is a sin and should be prohibited.

actually i was hoping for the opposite. i thought this one year would help you learn to deal with masturbation and orgasms in a healthy way again, sounds like you are even more against it now.

Sara2001 Yes, she hasn't done anything wrong. He quitted for his own (understandable but unfair and egoistic) reasons.

it just shows that he wasn't the right one. if he can't accept that, then he didn't love her 100%. I hope your sister finds a new partner soon is there an update on what's going on after her 18th birthday? does she stay in the belt?

Christine No, but it could be a nightmare.

do you really think so? I think there are ways that that can also be a good thing, even if of course he has to accept it if you don't want it

Saintprudence On some level I think you agree, since you still wear the belt.

I don't think so @Christine wears the belt so that she can continue to live with her mother

Angelina actually i was hoping for the opposite. i thought this one year would help you learn to deal with masturbation and orgasms in a healthy way again, sounds like you are even more against it now.

I’m working a lot on that with a therapist. Because I’m torn between my dominant and submissive, religious and rebellious sides, he’s suggested I give each one some time “in control” and see what feels right. Putting on my dominant religious face recently is one thing that got me to post here again. I wanted to see how I felt actually expressing these ideas. It’s already serving a purpose. In a vacuum, I can say “obviously masturbation must be prevented,” but in the face of those who must live with it, such as you and Jen, that attitude is not as strong.

Angelina I don't think so @Christine wears the belt so that she can continue to live with her mother

This is an example of how I’m pulled in both directions. One part of me wants to reply: “it’s madness that she would make such a demand and you should not accept.” Another part (maybe the strongest part at the moment) wants to say, “clearly she cares for you and wants to prevent permissive and immoral behavior, and you should respect that.” Yet another part (and this is a very American part of me) wishes to say “you’re well into your 20s and still live with your mother, clearly you need to be belted and kept in line until you get your life together.” All these sides are in conflict.