Chastity belt and hot weather
Sara2001 Yes, I exactly know what you want to say and I would love to have it this way, but sadly that's not how my father is thinking. He thinks that woman should accept that they are much more limited then man and that making the discomfort as small as possible is a sign of remorse. The man must do everything that it is possible to wear the chastity equipment save and hygienic. He must take care that it is bearable. For example I think we will get holes in our chastity bra's, too. But from his point of view it is not necessary to make it as comfortable as possible. Especially when it takes effort for him, like opening us every day for a shower. It's right that we feel better after the shower but nobody from us ever had serious problems from only having an unbelted shower just once a week. Belted shower takes just more effort for us.
I think it is a very complex and unusual way to think(especially the part about making it easier for you being considered as a sign of remorse...),and not very good for you.Do your boyfriend think the same,or will he take more care to make it easier for you?
Sara2001 My father don't think motivation is needed because we have no choice anyway. For "motivation" he uses rules and severe punishments
Not wrong,but I still think if it is easier,the wearer may be more cooperative and it would be better for both.And it would make the forced belting a bit less worse...
Sara2001 Her father has the time to pick her up from school and to bring her to school, removing bra and tightbands is less time consuming and she never is alone long enough during the day. If she is not able to orgasm from breast stimulation, what is his goal beside additional restrictions? Same for the tightbands, I was never able to reach an orgasm when I was in the belt. No matter if I had tightbands or not.
I don't say it is very useful(but it should be in a family where her parents can bring and pick her up to/from school,she should not be able to orgasm by stimulating her breasts,not doing it secretly at night or when going out...A lot of conditions!),but these have a reason related to chastity,it is not only used to make it harder.
I was never able to orgasm with my chastity belt on too,but thigh bands prevent to be stimulated too(even without reaching orgasm and being more frustrated).
Sara2001 Having some task is definitely useful but additional tasks to reduce the security of your equipment from ultra save to very very save? You have to work for a very small amount of comfort, while he doesn't give up security in a relevant amount. If he would care for your comfort you had the longest possible chain that prevents putting something under your belt.
It could help to understand there is cost to privileges,even if I'm not sure I would agree with it.But,for @Angelina's case,the additionnal tasks quickly become different ones,more pleasant and useful for her,so not that bad.
Sara2001 I think because I never lived any other way.
Yes,it probably play,at least,a part on it.
Sara2001 For me it feels completely different after marriage. Wearing it after marriage feels like a gift for me, from me to Daniel. Wearing it now feels forced.and I feel suppressed.
I can understand it.I think too the feelings can be very different when doing it after marriage instead of because of parents' decison.
Sara2001 I think I will never be allowed to make a drivers license and even when cars can drive completely autonome, I will most probably not be allowed to use them for anything without permission.
Even your boyfriend wouldn't accept you to drive?It is very old-fashioned and restrictive...I hope there isn't too many rules like this one...
Angelina so first of all the bra and the tighbands have something to do with security, my father doesn't want me to be sexually stimulated in any way
I agree.It is very related to chastity,and to prevent stimulation(and,unhappily,these do their jobs very well...).
If you decide to buy one,please tell us your opinion(for example,in the "just chatting" thread),it would be interesting.
Angelina I have one request to you. if you want to tell me something, then please mark me directly and do not talk indirectly with others, I find that a little unfriendly because I prefer to discuss directly
Oh, sorry, that was not my intention. I often just quote the last comment to the thread, because I know you and others will read it anyway.
I think you may don't see that your father raises you in a way that you have submit to him in a drastic way. Especially that you have to work for several hours a day to get a longer chain between your tightbands shows this very clear. If he would see security issues, why offers he a longer chain in exchange to additional work? This has nothing to do with becoming responsible. But I see that we have different opinions about this point, so it most probably doesn't make sense to change the same arguments again and again.
Vanessa Do your boyfriend think the same,or will he take more care to make it easier for you?
He is definitely more open about making some things easier but definitely not as easy as possible, but I would never expect this.
Vanessa I can understand it.I think too the feelings can be very different when doing it after marriage instead of because of parents' decison.
Forcing me against my will, will definitely lead to a "no" during wedding
Vanessa Even your boyfriend wouldn't accept you to drive?It is very old-fashioned and restrictive...I hope there isn't too many rules like this one...
Yes, he doesn't want me to make a drivers license or to leave the house without his knowledge. I will have very similar conditions like my mother has now. No leaving without permission, no spending money without permission, not ordering by myself in a restaurant, things like that. I can accept this because I know he takes good care of me and is making sure that I get what I need to be happy. I think he will almost never deny the permission.
Sara2001 Oh, sorry, that was not my intention. I often just quote the last comment to the thread, because I know you and others will read it anyway.
I think you may don't see that your father raises you in a way that you have submit to him in a drastic way. Especially that you have to work for several hours a day to get a longer chain between your tightbands shows this very clear. If he would see security issues, why offers he a longer chain in exchange to additional work? This has nothing to do with becoming responsible. But I see that we have different opinions about this point, so it most probably doesn't make sense to change the same arguments again and again.
I disagree with you on all points but I'm not angry with you anymore
Sara2001 Yes, he doesn't want me to make a drivers license or to leave the house without his knowledge. I will have very similar conditions like my mother has now. No leaving without permission, no spending money without permission, not ordering by myself in a restaurant, things like that. I can accept this because I know he takes good care of me and is making sure that I get what I need to be happy. I think he will almost never deny the permission.
these are very hard conditions, i don't think i would accept it but it is your relationship and you must be happy with it
it could also be an advantage for daniel if you get a driver's license. for example he could drink alcohol when you go out together
Sara2001 He is definitely more open about making some things easier but definitely not as easy as possible, but I would never expect this.
I hope he would accept way more things,however,even if it seems he'll be pretty strict about it,too...
Sara2001 Forcing me against my will, will definitely lead to a "no" during wedding
It's wise.
Sara2001 Yes, he doesn't want me to make a drivers license or to leave the house without his knowledge. I will have very similar conditions like my mother has now. No leaving without permission, no spending money without permission, not ordering by myself in a restaurant, things like that. I can accept this because I know he takes good care of me and is making sure that I get what I need to be happy. I think he will almost never deny the permission.
I think it is very limiting...A bit too much in the modern world,even in a man led relationship,in my opinion.
About not denying the permission,it reminds me something I had to do when younger.When I ate,with my parents,with family or family's friends,my parents often told me,if I wanted to leave the table,I must ask them and they would almost always allow me.It was not very useful,so,but it was more polite and well mannered.They always kept their promise,but,if I left the table without asking,I was severely spanked and grounded a few days as soon as we came home,so I mainly accepted it(same rule,and punishment,for my twin).If I understood it and accepted it at this time,I think the fact your boyfriend use the same way,for different parts of your life,a bit unusual.As if he should not consider you as mature enough to take such decision.
About the restaurant,would he "only" order it for you,or would he decide what you would have to eat?
Angelina these are very hard conditions, i don't think i would accept it but it is your relationship and you must be happy with it
I agree.Even if I had troubles to understand it.
Angelina it could also be an advantage for daniel if you get a driver's license. for example he could drink alcohol when you go out together
Right point!
Vanessa .As if he should not consider you as mature enough to take such decision.
this is exactly what my father gives as a reason why a married woman should not wear a cb
Vanessa About not denying the permission,it reminds me something I had to do when younger.When I ate,with my parents,with family or family's friends,my parents often told me,if I wanted to leave the table,I must ask them and they would almost always allow me.It was not very useful,so,but it was more polite and well mannered.They always kept their promise,but,if I left the table without asking,I was severely spanked and grounded a few days as soon as we came home,so I mainly accepted it(same rule,and punishment,for my twin).
a hard rule but understandable. this rule promotes good behavior, even if it is difficult I would support the rule, but not the punishments
Vanessa About the restaurant,would he "only" order it for you,or would he decide what you would have to eat?
I wonder that too, if he only ordered for her it is ok, if he decides what she may eat it is absolutely not ok
Vanessa hope he would accept way more things,however,even if it seems he'll be pretty strict about it,too...
I can accept strict leadership as long as it is out of love. I don't need independence when I feel protected and that he cares for me.
Vanessa I think it is very limiting...A bit too much in the modern world,even in a man led relationship,in my opinion.
I think it's very common in this kind of relationship.
Vanessa I think the fact your boyfriend use the same way,for different parts of your life,a bit unusual.As if he should not consider you as mature enough to take such decision.
Yes, basically that's true but it has nothing to do with maturity. It doesn't matter if I would be able to decide all this on my own. He likes it to be in charge of these points and I happily accept it if it makes him happy and if he denies it only for good reasons.
Vanessa About the restaurant,would he "only" order it for you,or would he decide what you would have to eat?
I suggest what I like, he could order whatever he sees fit, but he always ordered what I wanted.
Sara2001 Having some task is definitely useful but additional tasks to reduce the security of your equipment from ultra save to very very save?
Here I disagree, once more . I think that improving in situation has to be giving more freedom to the girl, allowing us make more things, be more comfortable, trusting in us.
I think security is out of the equation. If I some day have a daughter who wishes wear a belt, we could talk about everything, but precisely, the point of wear a belt, is maintain us secure. The most, the better.
And I again disagree in the way of treat girls, I think we should be treated as princess of the house, and anything our jeyholders can do to make us feel better, they should do it.
I respect your opinions, but far away of mine.
very poetically said
and except for the part in the middle with the more security the better, i agree with you. i don't feel further restricted by the additional tasks. on the contrary, working with my father in the office is a lot of fun and i learn a lot for my later professional life
even if it doesn't fit the topic i have a short question : how did your school exams go ?
Angelina this is exactly what my father gives as a reason why a married woman should not wear a cb
I can understand his opinion.
Angelina a hard rule but understandable. this rule promotes good behavior, even if it is difficult I would support the rule, but not the punishments
Yes,I didn't like it a lot(especially when I got older),but I knew it was not a good idea to rebel willingly against it by leaving the table without asking...But I understood why.
Sara2001 I can accept strict leadership as long as it is out of love.
It is necessary.
Sara2001 I think it's very common in this kind of relationship.
I think it is very extreme in your case...
Sara2001 Yes, basically that's true but it has nothing to do with maturity. It doesn't matter if I would be able to decide all this on my own. He likes it to be in charge of these points and I happily accept it if it makes him happy and if he denies it only for good reasons.
and
Sara2001 I suggest what I like, he could order whatever he sees fit, but he always ordered what I wanted.
It seems he likes to be allowed to tell you what you can do or can't do and expect you to obey him(or punish you if you don't,I guess),but generally agree to give you the freedom you asked for.If he always acts this way,no problem,but if he decide to be more strict and don't allow you what you asked,I think it would be way too strict.
Ines I think that improving in situation has to be giving more freedom to the girl, allowing us make more things, be more comfortable, trusting in us.
I feel a bit like you and @Angelina;having more important tasks to do is a pleasant sign of trust from my parents.
Angelina how did your school exams go ?
I would like to know it too.
Vanessa I think it is very extreme in your case...
If you search the internet you find a lot of women with more or less the same rules. Some are allowed to leave the house to go to predefined places like the grocery store, some are not allowed to leave the house without their husbands at all. Some have a little budget but have to collect recites, others have absolutely no access to money and you can continue this list with almost every rule I have. From what I can find on the internet, I am more or less in the middle and it could be a lot stricter.
Vanessa It seems he likes to be allowed to tell you what you can do or can't do and expect you to obey him(or punish you if you don't,I guess),but generally agree to give you the freedom you asked for.If he always acts this way,no problem,but if he decide to be more strict and don't allow you what you asked,I think it would be way too strict.
He normally only denies something for a good reason and from time to time to remind me that it is not only a formal thing, but this never happens when it has really drastic consequences.
Sara2001 I am more or less in the middle and it could be a lot stricter.
it's not about whether it could be stricter or not, but about whether you are still happy with this strictness. you can't compare something like that because every woman feels it differently, what is too strict for @Vanessa and me is ok for you, and what is too strict for you can be ok for other women
Angelina I thought a lot about this point. I think I can accept many restrictions as long as I can still do what is important for me, like staying in contact with my friends and family, having some time for myself to relax and just do nothing, having time for my hobbies or just watch a movie I like from time to time. It's really not so much. As long as this is given I can accept even very strict rules as long as they are out of love. I don't need to be responsible for money or appointments or things like that. To be honest, I feel under good care of Daniel and since then I don't miss these advantages a lot. It was a bit different before I meet him, but nowadays I am very happy.
hmm i have thought a lot about it, especially about the point if you want to meet your friends. are you allowed to leave the house alone ? how is it if you meet friends of yours by chance and daniel doesn't know them, are you allowed to talk to your friends or do you need his permission ?
I know I'm repeating myself, but I think you can make a contract about that too
Sara2001 From what I can find on the internet, I am more or less in the middle and it could be a lot stricter.
Well,I guess so,it could be way stricter,even if it si still very strict,in my opinion.
Sara2001 He normally only denies something for a good reason and from time to time to remind me that it is not only a formal thing, but this never happens when it has really drastic consequences.
Good he doesn't do it for important things,but I don't feel it is very fair to refuse you to have a permission only to show you he can do it...I hope he wouldn't do it for long,only at the start.
I agree that if you can do it and that rules are done out of love,it can be manageable.I wouldn't like it,but I can understand you may be happy this way.
Angelina hmm i have thought a lot about it, especially about the point if you want to meet your friends. are you allowed to leave the house alone ? how is it if you meet friends of yours by chance and daniel doesn't know them, are you allowed to talk to your friends or do you need his permission ?
Good questions.
Angelina are you allowed to leave the house alone ?
Yes, I just have to ask permission.
Angelina how is it if you meet friends of yours by chance and daniel doesn't know them,
No problem. I can talk to anyone I want.
Angelina do you need his permission ?
Outside of his parents house I don't need a permission to talk.
Angelina I know I'm repeating myself, but I think you can make a contract about that too
That's not how it is working for us because sometimes something doesn't need to be written down to be forbidden or allowed. It always depends on the situation and it is acceptable that this means a little risk for me because I can be sure that Daniel is strict but fair.
Sara2001 That's not how it is working for us because sometimes something doesn't need to be written down to be forbidden or allowed. It always depends on the situation and it is acceptable that this means a little risk for me because I can be sure that Daniel is strict but fair.
i see it completely different, every situation can be included in a contract as a rule with permission or punishment. you have a pretty complex relationship and i think it would be very useful. i think it's good that you trust daniel a lot that he is fair, but i think it's pretty shortsighted
concerning the other points, it seems to be strict but ok
Angelina i think it would be very useful
I think it would destroy the relationship. It would end in discussion about paragraphs and details.
Daniel is in charge and sets my boundaries. It's not perfect but because I know his idea behind everything I can adapt this to any situation. I never had a situation where I felt unfairly punished for something I expected to be okay. At least after the lection I always agree that I should have known better, but that I don't realize anything before before the lecture is very, very rare. I am not sure it ever happened with Daniel only a few times with my father in 18 years.
Sara2001 Yes, I just have to ask permission.
Still very restrictive.
Sara2001 Outside of his parents house I don't need a permission to talk.
Good you are mr efre to talk,generally!
Angelina i see it completely different, every situation can be included in a contract as a rule with permission or punishment. you have a pretty complex relationship and i think it would be very useful. i think it's good that you trust daniel a lot that he is fair, but i think it's pretty shortsighted
I think @Sara2001 is right.It would be way too complex and won't cover any situation,due to the big number of rules they use.Some guidelines are better,in this case,I think.
Sara2001 I think it would destroy the relationship. It would end in discussion about paragraphs and details.
I think too it would be hard to write it.
Sara2001 that I don't realize anything before before the lecture is very, very rare
Good.You could felt unfairly punished in such case.Even if,in my case too,not understanding how a rule apply to a situation well enough is not an excuse to avoid a punishment.