Vanessa It would be close to living together.

yes, but so that everyone still has some private space

Vanessa Getting both would be better!🙂

I agree 🙂

Vanessa I think she meant having to wear her belt even if she has a new boyfriend,as long as she lives in her mother's house.

ah ok, yes i assume that, but then there are two options. either to accept it or to try to live together.

        Angelina If you do not want to continue wearing the belt in the relationship, he has to accept that.

        Two different issues.

        Angelina and how you can become independent again.

        She can't help with it.

        Vanessa Getting both would be better!

        But I wouldn't depend on him.

                Christine She can't help with it.

                maybe not materially but psychologically. by the belt she rather strengthens the dependency. i would suggest a deal. the belt as long as you live with her, but she tries everything so that you don't live with her longer than necessary.

                    Vanessa When do you think you would have enough money to live on your own?

                    I am not sure yet, especially with covid uncertainty

                    Vanessa Do you think she may ask you to continue wearing it?

                    I hope not!!!

                    Vanessa Technically,he had already met her during the holidays,right?

                    Yes but only in passing, it is 'formal now'

                    Angelina yes, admittedly it is not very long, but they seem to be very much in love and it would help her to be able to escape from the equipment at least for the time being

                    It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                              Angelina but she tries everything so that you don't live with her longer than necessary.

                              Well, if she pays my rent she will also require the belt.

                                  saras It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                                  Take your time. To jump in a relation only to get out of the belt is not a good reason.

                                    12 days later

                                    saras It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                                    that's ok of course, a relationship has to develop first, but over a longer period of time you should consider this as an alternative.

                                    Christine Well, if she pays my rent she will also require the belt.

                                    i rather meant that she might be able to support you professionally in some way. maybe there is a job in her company that you can do to earn your own money

                                          Angelina i rather meant that she might be able to support you professionally in some way. maybe there is a job in her company that you can do to earn your own money

                                          She does in that sense.

                                              Christine She does in that sense.

                                              what do you mean by "in this sense"? if you have a job, you should look for your own flat

                                                  5 days later

                                                  Angelina what do you mean by "in this sense"?

                                                  She helps me to organize my life, like find a job, etc.

                                                  Angelina if you have a job, you should look for your own flat

                                                  Not enough.

                                                        Christine She helps me to organize my life, like find a job, etc.

                                                        Christine Not enough.

                                                        so she helped you to find a job that pays badly so you don't have enough money to move out? then keep the job but continue to search for a better one on the side. you can put your current job as a reference.

                                                              Angelina so she helped you to find a job that pays badly so you don't have enough money to move out? then keep the job but continue to search for a better one on the side. you can put your current job as a reference

                                                              I honestly don’t get Christine. I am not sure she really wants help or to be unbelted.

                                                                    James

                                                                    it is similar to @Helen and @Renita, she usually writes very short answers, which would not be a problem if they were clear, but this makes it difficult. but i will still try to help if possible. 🙂

                                                                      James I am not sure she really wants help or to be unbelted.

                                                                      She wants to move out

                                                                        7 days later

                                                                        Christine To be unbelted.

                                                                        the deal was that you wear the belt as long as you need her help, she should help you not to need her help anymore, then you don't have to wear the belt anymore either

                                                                            Angelina she should help you not to need her help anymore, then you don't have to wear the belt anymore either

                                                                            She wants me to keep wearing the belt even if I don't depend on her. Ofc I'm not going to.