Angelina If you do not want to continue wearing the belt in the relationship, he has to accept that.

Two different issues.

Angelina and how you can become independent again.

She can't help with it.

Vanessa Getting both would be better!

But I wouldn't depend on him.

          Christine She can't help with it.

          maybe not materially but psychologically. by the belt she rather strengthens the dependency. i would suggest a deal. the belt as long as you live with her, but she tries everything so that you don't live with her longer than necessary.

              Vanessa When do you think you would have enough money to live on your own?

              I am not sure yet, especially with covid uncertainty

              Vanessa Do you think she may ask you to continue wearing it?

              I hope not!!!

              Vanessa Technically,he had already met her during the holidays,right?

              Yes but only in passing, it is 'formal now'

              Angelina yes, admittedly it is not very long, but they seem to be very much in love and it would help her to be able to escape from the equipment at least for the time being

              It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                        Angelina but she tries everything so that you don't live with her longer than necessary.

                        Well, if she pays my rent she will also require the belt.

                            saras It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                            Take your time. To jump in a relation only to get out of the belt is not a good reason.

                              12 days later

                              saras It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                              that's ok of course, a relationship has to develop first, but over a longer period of time you should consider this as an alternative.

                              Christine Well, if she pays my rent she will also require the belt.

                              i rather meant that she might be able to support you professionally in some way. maybe there is a job in her company that you can do to earn your own money

                                    Angelina i rather meant that she might be able to support you professionally in some way. maybe there is a job in her company that you can do to earn your own money

                                    She does in that sense.

                                        Christine She does in that sense.

                                        what do you mean by "in this sense"? if you have a job, you should look for your own flat

                                            5 days later

                                            Angelina what do you mean by "in this sense"?

                                            She helps me to organize my life, like find a job, etc.

                                            Angelina if you have a job, you should look for your own flat

                                            Not enough.

                                                  Christine She helps me to organize my life, like find a job, etc.

                                                  Christine Not enough.

                                                  so she helped you to find a job that pays badly so you don't have enough money to move out? then keep the job but continue to search for a better one on the side. you can put your current job as a reference.

                                                        Angelina so she helped you to find a job that pays badly so you don't have enough money to move out? then keep the job but continue to search for a better one on the side. you can put your current job as a reference

                                                        I honestly don’t get Christine. I am not sure she really wants help or to be unbelted.

                                                              James

                                                              it is similar to @Helen and @Renita, she usually writes very short answers, which would not be a problem if they were clear, but this makes it difficult. but i will still try to help if possible. 🙂

                                                                James I am not sure she really wants help or to be unbelted.

                                                                She wants to move out

                                                                  7 days later

                                                                  Christine To be unbelted.

                                                                  the deal was that you wear the belt as long as you need her help, she should help you not to need her help anymore, then you don't have to wear the belt anymore either

                                                                      Angelina she should help you not to need her help anymore, then you don't have to wear the belt anymore either

                                                                      She wants me to keep wearing the belt even if I don't depend on her. Ofc I'm not going to.

                                                                          Christine

                                                                          but that wasn't what was meant at the beginning, was it? wasn't the whole thing meant that you wear the belt because you are dependent on her? so the logical consequence must be that you don't wear the belt anymore when you are independent again, right?