Been gone a while
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Funguy My mom would probably be okay with holding the keys if he's okay with being belted and she wants him belted.
I'm uncertain on how I should read this:
1) My mom would probably be okay with holding the keys if he's okay with being belted ; and she wants him belted.
or
2) My mom would probably be okay with holding the keys , if he's okay with being belted and (if) she wants him belted.
In other words, has your mother already expressed her wish to see him belted/caged (option 1)? Or is it just one of the conditions you assume for her to be OK with holding the keys (option 2)?
Joh Nice. Is open to everyone which letters a missing
It's interesting finding out what words in what languages can be used and where. E.g. I heard a commentator from the United Kingdom on a US TV station talking about words like bloody, wind, shagging, words that don't exist in the US version of English (well, wind does but it means something totally different in the UK). I don't remember what he said but some words can be used on the telly and some can't. Lots of people use the word I represented as f---ing but you can't say it on TV and I would never say it in front of my father. Shagging I could use. Also, I can say boobs and he doesn't mind but beware of tits.
Avery Also, I can say boobs and he doesn't mind but beware of tits.
I am just imagining a sign with tiny little birds with black head, blue wings and a yellow-green body, and beneath that the warning "beware of tits".
But of course, we know that not just tits are birds, but also boobies. And cocks.
Seems there is a reason we talk about the birds and the bees. Maybe it should be the birds and the cats instead, though.
youdontknowme But of course, we know that not just tits are birds, but also boobies. And cocks
In 2005 there was a man named Anthony Weiner who ran for mayor of New York City. Weiner can mean hot dog or penis in US slang. Supposedly all the TV announcers were rooting for him because then for four years they could say weiner on the air.
Avery Needing a belt to do it I consider a sign of weakness in me, though not in others.
I consider excessive masturbation, my own problem, to be a major weakness within me, but I consider the belt to be a solution. The belt is a part of me. Whether this now makes me some sort of cyborg I don't know!
Avery Weiner can mean hot dog or penis in US slang.
Only because you cannot distinguish Weiner (someone who cries) from Wiener (from Vienna). Still mildly irritated by the fact that Wienerschnitzel serves hot dogs, rather than Wiener Schnitzel, by the way.
But yeah, wiener puns are great. Though wieners are a bit too thin to really be a good stand-in for a penis. Much better to use a kielbasa. A Polish sausage for those that currently don't polish their sausage.
youdontknowme Though wieners are a bit too thin to really be a good stand-in for a penis.
Cucumbers are said to be a good substitute and they come in various widths. Just need to remember to take them out of the 'fridge in time to warm up a tad. Also I recall in the book Portnoy's Complaint (he was horny) Portnoy takes the chopped liver out of the fridge, fashions it into a replica of a vagina, takes his pleasure with it, washes it, puts it back in the fridge and that night his mother serves it to the family for dinner.
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Laura How would you know if he is right one?
I know a lot of guys, have been with a lot of guys. Haven't spent my time staying home protecting my virginity. I'm still learning but I have the means to make contact and get to know guys and size them up. And I'm in no hurry. Won't think about marriage 'til I'm 26. Tell us how you would do it.
Avery
Maybe pickles, but a salad cucumber is more likely to be used as a monster dildo instead of a penis dummy.
As for the other story: If you violate one of my bagels, don't put it bag in the effin' bag:
youdontknowme Yes, that's what I had in mind for the cucumber. And effing is a better spelling than the one I used. Verdict is still out on the video.