Male keyholder

Lukas We broke up because after being with me for years she decided that it wasn't enough that I licked or fingered her everytime she wanted me to so she decided to fuck another guy. After I found out, I broke up with her.

It is not my place to pass judgment on her, that is your prerogative alone, but as for how your cage relates to this, it might have been the reason you could not fulfill her sexual interests, but it has also helped you reveal her as a person who would go behind her significant other's back to get her sexual fix (which, even without the cage, might have happened at a different point in time), and it probably also protected you from engaging in any activities that would have forced you to stay a couple regardless, be it if you had a child from unprotected sex or if you had been caught taking each other's virginity and being forced into a "shotgun wedding" of sorts. As much as the cage gets in the way of your life, in this case it might have helped you dodge a bullet, so there is at least one upside to wearing it.

markules youdontknowme There is very little I have to report.

Sorry, I seem to have forgotten to reply to your status update. It does not matter too much that little has changed, I am curious about anything you might have to report. Not only is your story interesting because I kinda find you relatable, trying to cut down on habitual masturbation without giving up sexual pleasure alltogether, it also forms a counterpoint to the experiences of many other people here. A lot of people around here have some kind of mixed relation with their keyholder - they love them as family members, but they do not love the fact that they hold the keys. The devices are often forced upon the wearer against their will, and some of the demands of the keyholder regarding behavior stretch the definition of reasonable expectations. You are different. Not only do you trust the person who might become your keyholder completely, they are planning to hold the keys without any personal interest, just as a dependable and helpful person. You can be very glad for what you have.

I mean, the same applies to Jonas, but there is still the key difference that Jonas's keyholder is his spouse, so the chastity is an extension of their intimacy as a couple, in a way, whereas while you no doubt have a close and loving relationship with your father, the chastity device is the only part of that relationship which concerns your sexuality.

youdontknowme Hello, thank you for your sincere interest in my situation. Yes, I want to reduce my masturbation and it works very well. When I wear the device I actually no not feel like masturbating, I do not get hornier. Just erections are more fun. Sometimes I think about sex or consume picture material about it and that's enough for me.

I am not forced to wear it, more I want to wear it, however, until I have a secure cage (where I can't pull out) that fits comfortably, I will not give the keys to anyone.

Right now I am experimenting with dilators to stop me from pulling out of the cage. I was able to pull out of every one of the 10+ cages I bought. Unfortunately I have cut both dilators in half because the whole one caused blood in my urine. Now I am used to wearing a dilator so I need to reconnect them using the metal pieces taken from another cage's dilator. The trick of heating the silicone with a lighter works wonders; it shrinks and adapts to the size of the metal part connecting the tubes.

However, I have made a terrible mistake, trying to connect a metal dilator with a silicone one which caused it being too large (in diameter). So it got stuck in my urethra! I had to pull it out by force and now have a bleeding penis But I guess that's just another failure on my chastity journey, I have learned from it.

Yes I am very glad for the relationship with my father. It has taken a lot of work, but I trust him. Yet, I am not sure whether I want to do it at all. I may have gotten cold feet, but I did not tell him that as I didn't want to burn the bridge I built. What is definitely good is that he knows where my keys are for an emergency and he knows that I am sometimes wearing chastity cages. We agreed that IF (a large if, not when) we do it that there is nothing sexual involved. In retrospect although I really felt ashamed for telling him at first, I am glad that I have done it. Further, in the beginning of the same conversation he asked me very gently (which is often difficult for him) if I wore "wearables under wearables". I said yes and stated that I wear sports bras in order to compress my lungs so I can breath more comfortably. Of course I did not deny that there is something sexual involved. It was very embarrassing, so much that I turned white and he had to give me sugar/dextrose. But now that the cat's out of the bag, I decided to talk about my wish to reduce masturbation and how chastity devices would assist in reaching this goal. He then proposed the "envelope idea". I hope this was a good idea to tell him that, but the conversation felt so trustful that I wanted to risk it.

If you have any questions about my situation, please feel free to ask.

markules Right now I am experimenting with dilators to stop me from pulling out of the cage. I was able to pull out of every one of the 10+ cages I bought. Unfortunately I have cut both dilators in half because the whole one caused blood in my urine. Now I am used to wearing a dilator so I need to reconnect them using the metal pieces taken from another cage's dilator. The trick of heating the silicone with a lighter works wonders; it shrinks and adapts to the size of the metal part connecting the tubes.

However, I have made a terrible mistake, trying to connect a metal dilator with a silicone one which caused it being too large (in diameter). So it got stuck in my urethra! I had to pull it out by force and now have a bleeding penis But I guess that's just another failure on my chastity journey, I have learned from it.

I do believe several people of us have tried to warn you about putting stuff into your urethra, that stuff can be really unhealthy unless you really know what you are doing. As much as it is not really helpful to say it now, I cannot help but think along the lines of "told you so".

But honestly, I am quite happy for you that you can be so open with your father, that he does his best to understand your desires and help you improve yourself without pushing you more than you ask him to push you. From what you have outlined before, I am sure that he has no objections to the fact that you are keeping the keys to yourself for now. You obviously need to think things through, and to practice wearing a cage. It does not make sense to rush those things, and he will be there for you if and when you need his help. I do not think cold feet are burning any bridges, as nothing you said about him indicates that he expects a final decision at any time, it feels more like he has an idea of what you might ask of him one day and that he wants you to know he is willing to offer his help.

markules We agreed that IF (a large if, not when) we do it that there is nothing sexual involved.

Honestly, anything else would have been weird as hell. Even if it were just kink play with no actual intercourse involved, father-son incest would just be... no, just no. Probably still a good idea to make that clear when talking about genital restraints that are frequently sold as sex toys, but that something going on between a father and son is not a sex thing should really go without saying.

youdontknowme

youdontknowme I do believe several people of us have tried to warn you about putting stuff into your urethra, that stuff can be really unhealthy unless you really know what you are doing. As much as it is not really helpful to say it now, I cannot help but think along the lines of "told you so".

Yes, I acknowledge my own fault

youdontknowme Honestly, anything else would have been weird as hell. Even if it were just kink play with no actual intercourse involved, father-son incest would just be... no, just no. Probably still a good idea to make that clear when talking about genital restraints that are frequently sold as sex toys, but that something going on between a father and son is not a sex thing should really go without saying.

Yes, I completely agree with you, but I wanted to make it absolutely clear that this is not some kind of weird kink

Hi @Nate I have some more questions for you:

1. Would you stay locked if you would marry your boyfriend?
2. Does your boyfriend enjoy you being locked?
3. How does a milking feel like?
4. How would your parents react if they were informed that either your boyfriend or you had sex with each other? (You were unlocked for sex)
5. You keep your brother in chastity and refuse to give him more orgasms, is it because he made fun of you being caged?
6. Would you unlock him if he wants to have sex with a girl? (In this case both use contraception)
7. Would you recommend your brother to start milking? How would your parents react?
8. Has the chastity cage ever been used as a punishment?
9. How were the first nights in chastity?
10. How do you sleep now?
11. Do you get night time erections? (I know you can't normally get an erection, but night time erections are extremely strong in my case)
12. Do you know why your sports mate was locked? What do you know about his chastity exactly?
13. Do your other sport mates know that he has to wear one?
14. Do you watch porn or any material that excites you?
15. Would you like your social environment to know you are wearing a chastity cage? (In my case they all know it. I am waiting for them to make fun of it.
16. Would you work with seals with your brother such as @Lukas has, to prevent him from manipulating the chastity device?
17. What would be the punishment for pulling out?

Thank you and stay healthy!

@Nate I forgot to ask: How is the metal cage going?

markules

1. In our country, gay marriage still does not exist. But if it did, I would stay locked even after it.

2. Yes, and honestly, I like being locked by him too.

3. You feel your butt being spread, and you feel a need to get erect ... but except that I don't feel anything. After some time, it starts leaking, which feels like slowly peeing. It's a humiliating feeling at the start, but you can get used to it.

4. I think given that we agreed that my boyfriend would be in charge of my cage and they also know that he's my boyfriend, they would be okay with that ... as long as I was locked immediately after it.

5. The premise itself is wrong. I don't keep Jake locked; my parents do. And I don't give him more releases because he can get one at home each month.

6. Definitely not. That's why he's wearing the cage! And side note: I wouldn't want to watch them to ensure they do use contraception.

7. Since he's not legally an adult, he would have problems getting any toys to do it. Therefore, I decided not to tell him yet.

8. Not the cage itself; I've been caged 24/7. However, a release was sometimes skipped as a punishment.

9. (copy-paste from my previous post) Well, I kept instinctively putting my hands in my boxer briefs, trying to masturbate, only to find a plastic cage there and getting more frustrated. Of course, when it tried to get hard, it was awfully uncomfortable. There were even times when I got really desperate and tried humping the bed, but I couldn't feel anything, and Jake could laugh his butt off.

10. It's fine, but I still can't sleep on my belly.

11. Either it already stopped, or I stopped waking because of it. What unfortunately didn't stop are morning erections.

12. (copy-paste from my previous post) He was locked when he was 13, but for excessive masturbation too. We never asked each other for specific details of why we were locked. At first, he was wearing HolyTrainer too, but his parents then switched him to metal CB6000s and unlike me, he was released way less often.

13. Yeah. That my "incident" convinced him it would be fine to shower there (he showered at home in the beginning) and just came to showers in HolyTrainer (by that time, I already knew he was locked, the others didn't).

14. Yeah, although I try to avoid it as much as possible.

15. It would be nice if I could tell all my friends and not be immediately judged as a pervert.

16. Why? A lock is better than that ...

17. Spanking and being locked without release for a long time.

markules

It's quite heavy compared to what I originally thought or was in the description, but so far, it has been great. I already managed to go with it on my floorball training, and I noticed two things: the v4 ring is a lot better, I didn't need to lube it afterwards; on the other hand, you need way tighter underwear because of the added weight.

Nate Why? A lock is better than that ...

Those insertable locking cylinders like found on the HolyTrainers sacrifice a lot of security for compactness; I have the name-brand version of that lock and can open it with nothing but a flat piece of metal. The seal would not replace the lock, it would go along with the lock to help in situations where the lock itself might be weak - key theft, lock picking and all that kind of stuff. Hard to replace a numbered seal with an identical one when they come from a reputable manufacturer.

Nate The premise itself is wrong. I don't keep Jake locked; my parents do. And I don't give him more releases because he can get one at home each month.

But you have been authorized to allow additional releases, and you do not make use of that permission. Is that because you know from first-hand experience that once a month is enough to stay very functional as a teenage boy and fewer orgasms are better, or is it because you somehow feel he does not deserve to be out as much as your parents can accept=

youdontknowme

Well, I never tried to pick a lock, so I don't know about security of these. Also, how would you put a seal on the HolyTrainer? The hole is already fully occupied by the insertable lock ...

When I was Jake's age, I got released only once a month if I was good. I don't live with Jake, and I don't care about his grades etc. Also, I think that once a month is enough for him.

youdontknowme

Yeah, putting a write through the lock itself could be a solution. But that would obviously make the cage bigger and harder to maintain. Right now, I think that the lock is enough for us, and I hope it stays that way.

Well, to be really honest, since I was released once a month, it's probably my point of view that it's the optimum frequency for him too.

To the second part - what I meant is that my parents give him a release only if he's good. If I gave him a release in the middle of the month, skipping a release at the end wouldn't be anything for him. And I don't want to check his grades etc.; I really don't.

youdontknowme

I understand where are you going, but I still think releasing Jake once a month is okay, as it was for me. Also, if my math is correct, now his punishment is 2 months without release (1 month is before the denied release, and 1 month after).

Yeah, it was great to see Robin who was also going there in his cage, and he was glad too. It's always better when there are more locked people, as others don't see you as an exception to have a cage.

Nate I understand where are you going, but I still think releasing Jake once a month is okay, as it was for me. Also, if my math is correct, now his punishment is 2 months without release (1 month is before the denied release, and 1 month after).

Yeah, but you could take a different perspective, and say that the way things are now, a non-release punishment doubles his denial, and in that hypothetical, it would triple it. In either case, it would be a month longer than if he does well. And hey, you were given the discretion, so it is your choice in the end how to award them.

Nate Yeah, it was great to see Robin who was also going there in his cage, and he was glad too. It's always better when there are more locked people, as others don't see you as an exception to have a cage.

Be careful what you wish for. I am sure your teammates would not be happy if your wish for having more locked peers ended up costing them their genital freedom. Luckily for them, posting it on here is unlikely to have any effect.

I think it was while you were typing that I added the video link in my post above. If you are curious why I do not trust those insertable locks to keep anyone chaste without intrinsic motivation or supervision, feel free to take a look, I am not showing any body parts and nothing recognizable as a penis cage. The lock is a brand-name Burg-Wächter ME/2 by the way, sort of the original most of the Chinese cages are copying. Not sure where the HolyTrainer company sources their locks.

youdontknowme

Still, I don't see your math in this. Right now, if he's punished, he remains 2 months in the cage. In the scenario you're suggesting, it's a maximum of 1,5 months (14 days before the denial at home, then 14 days before me not giving him a release, and the final 14 days before we get home again). And like I said, I know that I was given the discretion, but I don't want to be the one who gives punishments or awards to him.

Hehe, I know they wouldn't like it (at least in the beginning), but hey, wouldn't it be actually better if our whole team was locked?

Also, thanks for the video, I see this lock has a security level of a regular screw. I'll try to check if our locks are also the vulnerable ones and, if so, whether there are any safe ones. I'm not a fan of the security seals as it's still an additional thing in your underwear. I'm sure Jake would hate it.

Nate Still, I don't see your math in this. Right now, if he's punished, he remains 2 months in the cage. In the scenario you're suggesting, it's a maximum of 1,5 months (14 days before the denial at home, then 14 days before me not giving him a release, and the final 14 days before we get home again). And like I said, I know that I was given the discretion, but I don't want to be the one who gives punishments or awards to him.

I just brought up your discretion again because I do not want to say you are making the wrong choice. The choice is yours alone, in the end (as long as it does not go against the margins ser by your parents. I was merely offering some different perspectives.
You know Jake, you probably know how he responds to one or two months of denial. But someone who is usually denied for two weeks might take a month and a half of denial harder than someone used to monthly releases takes two months.

Nate Also, thanks for the video, I see this lock has a security level of a regular screw. I'll try to check if our locks are also the vulnerable ones and, if so, whether there are any safe ones.

It is slightly better than a screw. It takes some jiggling and some practice, and it is only if I get "lucky" that the tweezers open the lock as quickly as a ley does. I might also have gotten a bit unlucky with the bitting of the key, maybe a lock where the depth of the middle pin differs a lot from the outer pins would be less vulnerable.

Nate Hehe, I know they wouldn't like it (at least in the beginning), but hey, wouldn't it be actually better if our whole team was locked?

Would certainly be an interesting twist if society were more chastity-positive. Maybe going out in public without a chastity device locked on would be seen as scandalous, like wearing excessively revealing clothing is in the world we live in.

youdontknowme

That may be true, but being denied for an additional month after spending one caged would be a bigger threat, no? Also, I think that the basic frequency of a month is enough for him as it was for me. Maybe it sounds a bit selfish, but that's how I see it.

I know how frustrated Jake is after a month or after two months locked; I'm still locked too, and parents used to skip releases as punishment for me as well. About a month is fine, and once per two months if you know milking.

Okay, I'll try the fiddle with the one spare lock we have to see if I can jiggle it open. So far, the easiest attempts failed (and I mean stupidly-easiest, as I'm not a locksmith). However, Jake is also not a locksmith, so if I can't open it, I'll consider it safe for him as well. As these locks are exclusive for chastity cages, I don't want to bring these to a professional.

Nate Hey Nate, thank you a lot for answering all of my questions. I am sorry if I ask redundant questions. I sometimes cannot remember what I asked